


You want to know how it will be

by luna65



Category: Greta Van Fleet (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bromance to Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Het and Slash, M/M, POV First Person, Recreational Drug Use, Sam & Danny: friendship goals, Sort Of, Threesome - F/M/M, but I have always slashed Sam/Danny, no more ambiguity from me, pre-fame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2020-11-24 05:54:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20902718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luna65/pseuds/luna65
Summary: Danny is a wanted man...but are his best friend and his girlfriend willing to share?





	1. change of plans

**Author's Note:**

> This is not technically a derivative work, but I wanted to give due credit to theLazarus for writing the first Sam & Danny threesome fic on her tumblr blog (“Between Us” and “Between Us II”). I then began to consider how I would do it, and it’s entirely different, but I salute her trailblazing efforts.
> 
> There’s a sort of a college AU going on, I suppose. But really I just see it as more of a “delayed entry into rock stardom” kind of twist. Like, they might have actually been doing _this_ had they not been signed as quick as they were. So everybody’s of age and all. I use a lot of my already-established tropes for the purposes of characterization. Although this is first person and not Reader-Y/N (because I can’t write that, sorry) you could always attempt to read it like an insert if that’s your thing. Since it's meant to have a casual conversational/confessional tone there's going to be tense-shifting and all that (my apologies if that sort of thing gives you fits).

We were in the home stretch - and by that I mean Danny held up my right leg, penetrating me at a slightly different angle, just enough to push me that much closer to full-on orgasm. We were also both entirely lubricated from our combined efforts to make it glide like Clyde.

(Shut up, that’s totally a phrase.)

He was grunting, I was panting, and I wouldn’t have even noticed had I not seen that the light beyond the almost-fully-closed door changed, a shadow moving into it. Then the flash of an eye. I got a little theatrical, figuring if Sam was gonna spy then he should know what an amazing fuck his boy was. That deep penetration, as deep as he could fit inside me...and even pushed to the limit I begged for a bigger thrust.

“You’re not a pinata!” Danny would tease me.

“Crack me open, big man,” I’d encourage between gasps.

I’d get an eyeroll but he wouldn’t stop thrusting. His rhythm is _perfect_. As are any number of other things about him. Right now I wanted to say _bludgeon me with that huge cock_, but he didn’t go in for hardcore dirty talk, just enthusiastic ribald encouragement.

But I know Sam doesn’t spy on us to watch **me**. He’s watching Danny’s muscled ass flex and clench and it’s gotta look damn good for sure. I wish there were more mirrors in this room so I could see too. I thought about someday maybe finding a bedroom where I can watch him work me over...the fantasy made me come hard: throbbing, drenching him in my juices and laughing at him gritting his teeth when I squeezed him as I shuddered inside.

A deep _ahhhh_, Danny’s face briefly contorted like when he pounds his toms and I lifted the other leg up. He came down hard and I squeezed his cock as tight as I could and he groaned as he blew his load. He’s a good boy, he won’t just collapse on top of me but always grabs the headboard, slowly pulling himself to his knees, slipping out of me like a greased pig, the condom barely hanging on.

“Damn girl,” he breathed, “you coulda just told me to come!”

I grinned, hands behind my head, smug in the wet spot. “I’d rather _make_ you than _command_ you, gorgeous.”

His face lit up, those _so unfair_ long lashes fluttering against golden skin. “It doesn’t take much, babe.”

I chuckled, and he hung his head down, black glossy mane hiding his face and I sneaked another look at that crack between the door and the frame. I was the one who’d done that, leaving the door slightly ajar, but Sam was gone. I was gonna have to start charging that boy for the show. Of course, maybe he wanted to join in, and I was okay with sharing Danny. Hell, if anything, Sam was sharing Danny with _me_.

I loved Danny. I had loved him from the moment I first looked at him within a crowd of people to see him looking back at me and he gave me a shy _you caught me_ glance and I just melted like chocolate held in a sticky palm. You couldn’t **not** love him, he was such a sweetheart to everyone. Sam and Danny were also bandmates, a rhythm section in fact (How appropriate was _that_?!) and their band was going to be huge someday but for now they were the in-demand combo in a college town (which meant gigs galore) and two of the guys were actually in college, two of them were not.

Sam was one of those abstaining, but the irony of that was he was a bona-fide savant. Like, scary smart. For example, he could accurately (within, say, half a pound) guess the weight of random objects just by looking at them. I mean, who does that? Evil Genius Sam, that’s who.

But those two were a package deal of sorts, togetherness at the quantum level. If I loved Danny, I’d say I loved their friendship even more. I’d never had a bestie the way Sam and Danny were besties. Finishing each other’s sentences, or having entire conversations without words. Anticipating each other’s needs, cracking up at references only they would understand. They were freakin’ _adorable_ together, and I enjoyed my front-row seat to their relationship.

I had started to consider _how_ close they were when, one night post-gig at a frat house, Sam had curled into Danny’s lap and went to sleep. I felt myself turn to mush to witness it because there was something so sweet about the trust required to do something like that. But _what else_ was there? I didn’t feel like it was my place to ask, the situation would either reveal itself or it wouldn’t. But I wasn’t above helping it along a bit. Hence the window (or doorcrack) of opportunity for observation. And sure enough, Sam was gonna check that shit out for as long as he could get away with it.

I normally didn’t go to the Friday night shows so I could have some Me Time. The five of us share a fairly big house (courtesy of Danny’s grandfather), but still, living with four guys (even though I love them all very much) is a lot sometimes. And I was ready to enjoy my solitude with my special “Lemme Upgrade Ya” mac n’cheese, some hard cider, and an audiobook. But as I was stirring up the extra-cheesy goodness and adding bacon bits, chopped tomato and green onion, I became aware that I was not actually _alone_.

I threw out an arm to block a curious Sam, sniffing loudly as he peered over my shoulder. “Excuse you! Don’t y’all have a gig?”

“Tomorrow,” Jake replied. He was texting someone, leaning back against the sink. He had changed from his usual t-shirt/skinny jeans/Chucks uniform to his ladykiller open shirt/skinny jeans/Chelsea boots attire, paired with a velvet jacket I coveted _so much_ (burgundy with black silk frog closures and ruby silk lapels) and accessorized with scarves and lots of jewelry. He and his twin brother Josh were lovely brunets, but Jake wore his hair longer, it hung so perfectly to frame his attractive face...sometimes I had to remind myself not to get caught up in his whole vibe.

“Wow, you haven’t had Friday off in, like, forever.”

“I know, right?!” Sam exclaimed. “It’s bizarre. Mike was freaked out the other day when he realized we weren’t booked for anything.”

“What are we doing, what’s the plan?” Josh asked, rubbing his hands together.

“I’ve got a date,” Jake said, pocketing his phone and adding another scarf to his outfit.

“Let me guess: Heather, Heather, or Ashley?” I teased.

He made that noise you hear when someone gets a question wrong on a game show. “Madison.”

We all said _ehhhh_ and he got defensive. "What?!"

“She’s just not Rock God Girlfriend material, my dude,” I offered. “For one thing, she doesn’t even like Greta.”

“Jeez, who said anything about a girlfriend,” Jake countered as he strode out.

“But why would you date someone who hates the band?” I inquired in his wake.

“I’d use that term loosely,” Josh advised. “_Very_ loosely.”

“Like it’s a euphemism type of loosely?” 

“Exactly. Hmm, maybe I should call someone.”

Josh dashed downstairs (Danny let him have the basement so he could turn it into a post-production and editing suite) and I chuckled to consider who of Josh’s wide acquaintance would be free on a Friday night. We could go anywhere in the city and run into someone he knew. People were drawn to him and his outsized personality, which made him a natural as a lead singer. But he was also a theatre kid, which meant Melodrama was his middle name (okay it was really Michael, but you know what I mean).

Sam straddled one of the kitchen chairs and Danny dropped into the one beside him. They exchanged a glance which I thought meant _Well now what?_ but it could have been anything, really. There was no telling with those two.

“Maybe **I** should call someone!” Sam exclaimed, like no one had said anything of the kind just minutes before.

Danny snapped his fingers. “Maybe you should!”

I snickered. _Goofballs._

“Who was that girl from the other day? The one in the head shoppe?”

“No it was the Starbucks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah the black-haired girl, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh wait, you should call Jocelyn!”

“Who’s Jocelyn?” I asked.

“She’s this girl in the physics class he’s auditing. She’s like, super super smart and totally hot.”

“Like, they could make supermodel evil genius babies who will take over the world kind of hot?”

“Totally.”

“Goddamn, why are you trying to pair us all off?” Sam mock-groused, throwing me a pained look.

“I feel it would be safer for everyone,” I cracked, and Sam flipped me off.

“Do I even have her number?”

“I had her put it in your phone, when we were at the noodle place.”

“Under ‘J?’”

“I dunno how she put it in there.”

Sam scrolled through his contacts with a frown of concentration. He is _gorgeous_, similar to his two brothers but maybe even more beautiful. He does not lack for attention. But he’s picky.

And then there’s the whole _he might be in love with his drummer_ thing. But let’s table that issue for the moment. He laughed, eyes crinkling at what he saw.

“Enrico Fermi - wow, she’s funny.”

Danny widened his eyes and grinned. They looked dark brown at the moment, though he actually had hazel eyes which tended to turn green when he was aroused. 

“She totally knew you would get that!”

Sam made a call as Josh came upstairs again.

“It’s kismet - the Kubrick Society is hosting a happy hour at the Mutiny!” He opened the pantry door and peered inside. “Are we out of Pop Tarts _again_?”

I made sure Sam wasn’t looking and quickly pulled a box out of the cabinet above the stove - which everyone else assumed was empty save for the exhaust fan duct.

“Darling, you have saved my life yet again!” Josh took one of the foil packets and kissed me on the cheek.

I shrugged. “It’s what I do.”

Josh pulled on a poncho and ruffled his hair. “I’m off, dear ones, don’t wait up!”

We heard Sam say, “Yes, we should do that!” and exchanged a smile.

“Everybody’s got plans,” I noted. “Feeling left out, Wagner?”

“Only if I don’t get some of that mac n’cheese!”

I gave my boyfriend a loving smile and dished up a bowl. “Don’t I always hook you up?”

“With _everything_,” he replied, and this is why I love him. He says the right things at the right time.

Sam returned to the kitchen, pulling on his jean jacket, pawing at himself and then his bestie.

“Dude, what?!” Danny sputtered.

“Where are the keys?”

“In my jacket, you perv!” But he was laughing as he pushed Sammy away, aiming him towards the hall closet.

“Just remember boyo,” I called out after him. “Safe, sane and consensual!”

“Eat a dick,” Sam yelled back and then we heard the front door close.

I set a bottle of Bulmers in front of my man and then settled down with my own meal. “I don’t know why Sam continues to think I’ll eat just any old dick.”

Danny snorted, almost choking on his mouthful of food. I smirked and took a bite, chewing with relish. “Can I make some mac n’cheese or what?”

“Totally.”

We ate in silence for a while, then Danny leaned towards me, whispering conspiratorially.

“Hey, I think we’re alone.”

I looked around. “I think you’re right,” I whispered back.

“Wanna Netflix and Chill?”

“Okay, but why are we whispering?”

“Because it’s sexy.”

We cracked up. _Oh, this boy is so getting fucked tonight._


	2. facilitator of various couplings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is a handful, amirite?

Sometime past one in the afternoon and I was enjoying being the only one awake. There are plenty of cliches about people in general, but I’d say the thing about musicians not wanting to get up in the morning is pretty accurate. Although I figured Jake and Sam hadn’t actually come home yet. I heard Josh come in around three, and then I was horny again, but my man was dead to the world at that point.

_Job well done!_

I sat by the big picture window in the living room, enjoying the mellow Autumn sun and my second cup of coffee. I had assignment reading to do but I just wanted to enjoy the moment. There was a really loud wood thrush in one of the trees on the side of the yard and I wondered why it was so impassioned. Mating season was over, was he just happy? I hoped he was. I heard the porch stairs creak and the front door opened, revealing Sam looking sleep-deprived, fiddling with his hair as usual. I had heard the story about them all making a pact to grow out their hair to prove they were serious about succeeding with the band, but Sam seemed to act like he just didn’t know what to do with so much luscious length. I was jealous of his hair before we’d even met, that’s how beautiful it was.

“Hola mi amigo,” I greeted him.

“I’m not auditing Spanish this semester,” he murmured, pulling off his jacket in a sloppy motion.

“You look beat,” I observed. “Gonna go sleep it off?”

“Nah I just need coffee.”

I followed him into the kitchen and watched him take his favorite mug out of the cabinet above our duel espresso-coffee machine, inscribed with WAKE THE FUCK UP, white letters on black.

“You didn’t even get coffee? What kinda household is Genius Supermodel running over there?” I exclaimed, teasingly aghast.

“She has _pods_, I hate those fuckin’ things.”

I laughed. Sam’s persnickety attitude about coffee was comical. He referred to anyone who owned a Keurig as a “pod person” in the same way _actual_ pod people were meant to be reviled.

“So not girlfriend material?”

“I don’t want a girlfriend. What is up with you and that?”

We sat down at the kitchen table - it could have been a commercial, except I don’t know if they would have cast the guy to be so freakin’ gorgeous compared to the girl. I was pretty okay, but I often wondered what the odds were that both their families could contain such attractive offspring. I could be super cute under right circumstances: lighting, outfit, makeup, hair products. But swear to God any one of them could awaken straight-up glowing and it was _so unfair_.

“Sam, _I know_, okay? But listen - have you ever noticed that our relationship is just a mirror image of your relationship except that there’s also fucking?”

“You’re not as funny as me.”

I rolled my eyes, but I wasn’t annoyed because it was true. “I think what he really wants is _all_ our love. You don’t have to want me, but I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating...whatever. But I think you should tell him.”

“I don’t think he’s into me like that. He’s been wanting a girlfriend, like, since we graduated. And so I was all, ‘Okay, then **do** that.’”

“But now that he has unlocked that objective -”

“What?!”

I rolled my eyes again, remembering that the Kiszkas had managed to grow up without playing videogames.

“Now that I’m on the job I think we should, you know, talk about it. I mean, wouldn’t it be better to do that than have him catch you peeping?”

“Wait, _that’s_ what you know?”

“Well if you’re watching us then that obviously means you want him, right?”

“Goddamn, you are way more emotionally intelligent than I gave you credit for.”

I gaped. This is classic Sam - wrapping a compliment inside of the snarkiest thing he can think of - but even though we bagged on each other, we were cool. I fully accepted that I was the third wheel most of the time, but I genuinely loved him. Sam had a lot going for him and I wanted the world to know how crazy-talented he was, how they _all_ were.

“Uh...thanks?”

“Well, you **are** an older woman after all.”

(Brat! By one freakin’ year, I’d like to point out.)

“Yeah yeah, so we need to sit down and work it out. I don’t want you to shut yourself off from love, Sam-a-lama. You deserve all the love you can possibly get.”

“Not today, alright? We’ve got a gig - I don’t want things to be all weird onstage.”

“Okay.”

“I _could_ just be a perv, you know.” He ran a hand through his hair again, pushing it back off his face. He smirked, like he was trying to convince me. But I knew better.

“I don’t doubt it, but not when it comes to Danny. It’s like he rode up on a unicorn as the fairy tale prince he is and you’re watching him from behind a tree, wondering if he’s real.”

Sam blushed, I mean his face went dark pink and he bit his lip. _Oh my heart._

“You gotta stop that shit,” he finally said, and I poured him another cup of coffee, trying not to gloat.

Jake rolled in just as we were trying to decide what to have for an early dinner, as Danny polished off the leftover mac n’cheese once he got up. They were playing a downtown bar/restaurant called The Tinder Box and the owner loved Greta, so he always made certain to have a nice spread on hand, but not until _after_ they’d played their first two sets. And boys being boys, they were always starving by late afternoon. I was offering to make sandwiches, having most of the fixings for grinders in the fridge, but Sam wanted the house special fried rice from our favorite Chinese take-out. I was outvoted and Sam and Danny went out to collect it. Josh came up with a big binder in hand, wanting me to read the latest revisions of his Senior Project script while Jake serenaded us with his acoustic and the collected works of Elmore James.

“So I like that flashback now,” I told Josh. “The whole mirror thing is clever.”

Josh shrugged, smiling. “It’s been done before but I thought it fit, you know? Since they’re in the antique shop.”

“Yeah totally.”

_I'mma get up soon in the mornin'_  
_I believe I'll dust my broom._  
_I'll quit the best gal I'm lovin'_  
_now my friends can get in my room._

Jake only sang for us, he let Josh handle all the vocals in the band save the occasional harmony. But I liked his voice too, he sang an octave lower than Josh most of the time.

The besties returned, Danny’s eyes were glowing brown-green and I knew what that meant. 

He pulled one of the containers of fried rice out of the bag and declared if anyone else ate it he would hold them upside down by the ankles for an unspecified period of time. Everyone else grunted and dug into the rice and egg rolls as he pulled me upstairs to our room. It was a ritual: some people take what they call a “fear nap” before a show, some people walk around in circles, some people need to be alone, some people drink profusely. My man likes a pre-gig quickie and thus I found myself, ass in the air, being pounded from behind. The angle was better for full penetration, but Danny is one of those guys who prefers face-to-face sex.

“Damn I needed this pussy!” he declared. 

I giggled at him and maybe I was straining to hear Sam’s tread on the stairs but mostly I was out of my mind from the exquisite pistoning happening in my vagina. Sometimes I want to shout _whooooo_ like I do at a gig during his drum solo because SO GOOD but I always manage to restrain myself somehow. I was screaming into my pillow and spasming like crazy as he set me off like a fireworks display before letting out a sound like he’d been punched followed by one last hard thrust. And if they haven’t heard they’ll know to see me walking funny. But when I finally slide off the bed, nearly boneless, I see the door is fully shut.

_Aw well Sammy, better luck later._

“Do you need to pluck my brows again?” Danny asked, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. I took a moment to thank the Universe for the sight I was experiencing and then forced myself not to get handsy; he was in full-on prep mode now. I examined his face, looking for stray hairs and blemishes and so forth.

“You’re good, babe,” I replied. “So stunning I’m surprised I can form actual words.”

He grinned and kissed me. “So I can wash my face and do the BB cream?”

“Don’t you want to eat first?”

“No time! You know Bob always likes us to set up early. We’ll have to eat on the way.”

“Then yeah, go ahead while I take a shower.”

But even when I emerged half an hour later, dressed and made-up with my hair pulled back in a fancy butterfly-shaped barrette, Sam was still in the bathroom doing his 10-step Korean skincare routine and I think _OMG this band, so ridiculous._

But we always manage to make it just in time.


	3. ...if you're into that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Indica veritas...or something.

It’s always nice when Greta plays a venue where they’re welcomed. The owner lifted the cover charge **and** he was running drink specials all night, in consideration of all the broke-ass college students in the band’s fanbase. We whooped and hollered all through the three sets - and Danny always expects me to lead the charge on that. Which I happily do because they **rock**. Josh was feeling the love, he kept grinning at everyone and really getting into it with his movement and tambourine accompaniment. His boys were in sync, fierce and tight, but there were smiles at the end of songs too, like, _hey we did it!_

I manned the merch table during the first set (and one of Jake’s regular admirers took over for me the rest of the night), we set up at the back of the room so I couldn’t see them too well, but I was yelling at people over the melodic assault, just having them point at what they wanted and holding up fingers to tell them how much it was. Currently they were offering two t-shirts, a CD or cassette copy of their latest professionally-recorded demos, some stickers and a koozie. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone places with a can of Coke in my logo-emblazoned koozie only to have some random person ask: “Oh you like Greta too?”

Or, in the words of our esteemed guitarist: “Who _doesn’t_ like a cold one?!”

Our answer: “Yeah!”

I was up front during Danny’s solo with my usual cry of “**Slam it**, Daniel!” which always cracks him up, but it doesn’t throw him. I looked off to the left to see Sam standing just beyond his amp, his body following along with every fill, accent and beat. His gaze did not falter and that kind of intense focus spoke to his love for Danny, I knew. And I _ached_ for him.

“You people are a national treasure!” Josh exclaimed as the last notes of the last song were rolling over the crowd. “We love you so so much!”

We all let out a last big _whoooooo_ on the downbeat, and four sweaty boys waved and blew kisses and laughed with joy as they walked off the small-ish stage. As I was boxing up the leftover merch and the owner was clearing people out (_You ain’t gotta go home but you can’t stay here!_) my heart was swelling with that loving belief I possessed in this band.

_When they’re famous, I hope it’s just like this too - love enough to drown in._

There was a party - there was _always_ a party - but this one was fairly intimate. Danny wasn't supposed to have parties at the house, but there’s a circle of friends who are trusted to be chill and so this was just a mellow hang with music and booze and herb and all the leftover food. No shenanigans of any kind, thank you very much.

Josh had given up smoking of all kinds, but some kynd kyds brought edibles as well as various strains of potent green which most everyone else indulged in, and pretty soon it was time to put on _Exodus_ so we all could bob our heads and sing off-key (except my boys, who were all good singers even when intoxicated). I wandered through the crowd, swaying along with the music, purposely sober because someone has gotta be - especially because I didn’t want Danny to get in trouble with his grandpa, who he was really close to. He took him golfing every other Friday and smilingly endured the endless “Have you met my grandson?” inquiries of everyone they encountered. “He’s in a rock band!”

I was on patrol, ensuring things remained chill when Danny called out, “Babe, c’mere! You gotta try this, it tastes like blueberries!”

Oh ho, Mr. Giggles was back. Danny drunk or stoned was pretty much the same: silly but also somewhat solemn at times, that _oh wow_ thing. Those ridiculous “deep” conversations about aliens or whatever. _Adorable_, but someone who wants to discuss government conspiracies and eat Doritos at 4am is not always the person I want to be going to bed with. 

Honest to god, sometimes I wanted to tell him to go sleep with Sam when he was high. But it didn’t happen often enough that it was a relationship issue.

Still though...blueberries? I was reminded of my Uncle Leon telling me, “Y’all always trying to make things palatable. In my day, we just smoked that skunky shit and waited for the high to kick in.” No harm in a little hit, I thought.

Danny’s grin was so wide as he handed me the bong. And damn if it didn’t taste like blueberry cereal or something, so yummy. He made to have another toke and I placed a gentle hand on his arm.

“Slow your roll, Wagner, that’s, like, way Indica, right?”

The other guy - whose name I couldn’t remember but he was a long-time friend of theirs who carried around a plant all the time - nodded in agreement.

“As we know from experience, Indica knocks you the fuck out, so maybe just let it settle, okay gorgeous?”

Danny shrugged and took another swig of beer. “Okay. Are there any chicken wings left?”

We bopped our way back into the kitchen and I watched him lay waste to a half-full container of lemon-pepper wings, making sounds like it was the best thing he’d ever eaten.

“You are fucked-up, my friend,” I teased with a smirk.

“Nuh-uh! Not off my face, just toasted.”

Truthfully, it took a lot to bring the big man down, but it _was_ possible. And the effects of that one toke were starting to take hold within me: warmth slithering up my spine, a feeling of lightness, a glow, if you will, convinced that everything was indeed - just like the man said - gonna be alright. Danny was grinning at me.

“You’re totally high right now!”

“I may possibly be high, yes. But still not as stoned as you.”

Danny laughed and rummaged through more take-out containers, making an _Mmm!_ sound to find one full of nachos. An idea began to unspool, prompted by my chemically-enhanced state because sober I probably would have thought it would be too weird. I stroked Danny’s beautiful hair, pulled back into a ponytail rather than his usual half-tail, and kissed his cheek.

“Stay, stay boy - who’s a good boy?!”

Danny barked and put another fully-loaded chip in his mouth.

I went off in search of Sam, who was having a debate with some guy about cryptocurrency. How Sam even knew about such a thing was beyond my comprehension but that skinny brat knew something about _everything_, it seemed.

“Excuse me, Super Genius - I am in need of you.”

“Yeah save this motherfucker from putting his foot in it!” the other guy retorted and I just waved a hand, like, _Dude, shut up before I hurt you._

“What’s wrong?” Sam immediately asked as we retreated to the end of the downstairs hallway.

“Nothing. But, uh, remember that talk I was talking about?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Danny is probably in a really good frame of mind to hear it right now.”

“Why? How?”

“Some Indica-heavy blueberry strain.”

“Damn, really? Is there any left?”

“Dang, does _everybody_ wanna get fucked-up tonight? Listen, you and I need to be, like, more cognizant because we have to make the argument.”

Sam leaned forward and sniffed me. “How cognizant are _you_ right now, huh?”

“I had **one** small toke. You know I don’t get fucked-up when we have people over.”

Sam nodded. “True. Okay, but how?”

“Well **you** have to start it. And then **I** have to support it. And then **we** have to encourage it.”

“Your strategy game goes way complex when you’re ripped,” Sam commented, and he sounded fairly impressed.

“Shut up Sammy,” I said, sticking out my tongue. But I was smiling.

We brought Danny over to a corner of the screened-in porch which wasn’t already occupied so I could sort of keep an eye on everything else. Josh and Jake were both well on their way to being plastered, so I knew I couldn’t ask for their assistance in that effort.

“What’s up?” Danny asked, opening yet another container which was full of mini cupcakes. “Oooh I love these things!” he exclaimed.

Sam and I exchanged a look. Mine said _See what I mean?_

Sam sat next to him on the wicker loveseat and I settled down on the floor cross-legged.

“Hey so…” Sam began. “Remember that time you kissed me?”

_WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!_

Goddamn that Slippery Sam, he had this in his back pocket **the whole time**. I mean, I could see why Danny had never told me _uh yeah, I kissed my best friend once_, but then suddenly I realized why Sam had said Danny was intent on finding a girlfriend. Had it really fucked with his head? And why? Had Sam been too into it for his liking?

_But why would he feel that way?_ Danny loves Sam, I know he does. I had witnessed a thousand-and-one micro incursions, the way they physically interacted with each other proved their soul-deep connection to me every single day.

Danny blinked for what seemed like forever. “Yeah.”

“Well, would you like to do it again?”

Danny swallowed, then looked at me.

“I’m totally okay with whatever you two decide. It just seems like you _should_.”

“Sammy, you didn’t have to just, like, drop that bomb.”

“I told her earlier.”

“But how come -”

I should have been given a goddamn Oscar for how I managed to compose myself in that moment. _Slippery Sam, you fucking **owe me** for this._

“I told him that it seemed like you guys are really close, and I wanted to be a part of that, if you’d let me.”

Danny handed me a cupcake and I smiled.

“Uh wow, I think I need to have a moment or something,” he said, then licked the frosting off the top of another one from the container.

“I think it should be Storytime With Sammy,” I said, giving Sam a _I cannot fucking believe you just did that_ look. “Tell me _again_ about the kiss.”

Danny handed Sam a cupcake and his expression was so *heart-eyes*...well, I can’t lie, I was a little jealous. Or maybe it was just the weed.


	4. group efforts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama averted...**or is it?!**

I heard what sounded like a commotion, many voices talking at once and thought _oh god now what?_ I rose to my feet, Sam and Danny were still staring at each other, and I was relieved to see a purple dreadloc’ed head bobbing in the crowd.

_Oh it’s just Aerin._

Josh’s folk-singer friend had arrived and she was always the highlight of any party because it meant that everyone would demand they sing together. Their version of “The Battle of Evermore” gives me _chills_. So a hootenanny was now at hand. And maybe, I dunno, that was a better way to go at this point. We still needed to talk but I suddenly felt like Danny was thinking it was _too much_. And the last thing I wanted to do was freak him out, poor baby. I looked over at them again and their foreheads were touching, Sam was saying something and Danny had his eyes closed.

_I hope it’s an apology._

“Oh fellahs!” I heard Josh call. “Aerin wants us to play ‘Written In Gold.’”

They looked up in unison and maybe also in gratitude for being distracted. But they looked _okay_, like there was no residual anger or resentment. I sighed in relief.

“Hey Aerin, we’ll play that if you play ‘Barracuda’ like you promised last time.” Sam said.

“Yeah Sammy!” she replied. She had a really throaty speaking voice but her singing voice must be what crystal raindrops sound like, so clean and pure. She had a great range overall, but even as many times as I’d heard her sing it always stunned me. And she could play acoustic dirty blues the equal of Jake, it was fun to watch them jam out together.

Jake and Sam grabbed their guitars, Danny went down into the basement (where they sometimes rehearsed) to get his conga drum and the box of percussion instruments he had collected over the years. They set up in the living room and the rest of us gathered around them. Aerin had brought her guitar but for this one she was just going to sing along. Danny was motioning in a _c’mere_ gesture to me and I dashed over.

“You want a bottle of water, babe? Or another beer?”

“Nah, here, play along,” he replied, handing me a tambourine. “I know you know this one.”

“Really?” I squeaked, feeling myself blush. “I always screw it up!”

“Babe, just watch me. Every time I nod my head, that’s the _one_, okay? You can totally do this.”

I nodded, an entire kaleidoscope of butterflies in my stomach, but hell, if I can’t play in front of a crowd of drunken stoned friends, who can I play for? Jake and Sam did a quick tuning and then we waited for Jake to begin the intro. Danny made a _watch me_ motion with his hand and I nodded, standing just to the right of his conga drum. Josh said, “Ready darling?” to Aerin and she nodded. They each stood looking at the floor as Jake began, then after the pause between the intro and the song we all came in, Aerin opened up that glorious throat and just laid it on us.

_Swing it, swing it_  
_like you did last night_  
_like you did last night - hey_  
_swing it around._

_Love me, love me_  
_oh - just a little while_  
_yeah, just a little while_  
_come back home._

Normally I would have let out an “Ow!” and started dancing, but I was fiercely concentrating on hitting the one and then my hands just knew what to do. After a minute or so Danny looked at me with a grin. _Get it girl!_ he mouthed and it felt like great sex feels; I understood why they were so addicted to playing music together. Josh and Aerin traded the verses and the song went on for about ten minutes or so, with the “San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair)” interlude included. They sang together on that part and I shivered to hear their voices merging. I had told Josh they should do a side project together, but he said he was too busy with the band and school and trying to plan for his student film.

Everyone was fully appreciative and Josh had us each bow although I quickly ran to the other side of the room when it was over. But Danny blew me a kiss and that made the jitters I’d been feeling totally worth it.

It was full-on dawn before the house was empty again, and I figured we were all too tired to do anything but stumble off to bed. Josh was already sacked out on the couch, his fluffy long curls sticking up every which way. I covered him with an afghan and kissed his forehead.

“Night-night Joshie,” I whispered and he replied with something that sounded like _mmm hgh nmm mmm mmm_.

Danny was waiting on the stairs and I smiled up at him.

“Hey big man.”

“See I knew I could get you to play, and it was fun, right?”

“Yeah but I’m not the musician, you are. I’m the English major who makes sure the clown car gets where it needs to go on time.”

Danny laughed and pulled me to his side. “You could do it if you really wanted to. I totally believe in you.”

I hugged him. _Oh what a sweetie he was._

“And I totally believe that any day now _everyone_ will know how amazing you are.”

We entered the bedroom and just like in _The Story of The Three Bears_, there was someone sleeping in our bed.

“Sam,” Danny called, shaking his bestie’s foot, but the boy was **out**.

“He must have been waiting for us and then finally passed out.”

“Yeah but, this bed isn’t big enough for three people.”

_Hmm, that’s definitely on the minus side of the threesome question._

“I’ll go sleep in Sam’s bed, he’s used to waking up with you. Maybe he wants that.”

“But -”

“Daniel, we still need to talk about..._stuff_, but it can wait.” I pulled him down into a deep kiss, our tongues tangling for a time. “I love you.”

“I love you. Hopefully his sheets aren’t too...y’know.”

“Oh my fucking god,” I muttered, and grabbed a couple blankets out of the hope chest at the foot of the bed. “I’ll just sleep like a burrito.”

Danny laughed and pulled his t-shirt over his head. I wolf-whistled at him and he pulled his hair out of the ponytail, tossed it over his shoulder and gave me a sexy pout.

“Damn boy, can you **not** be a whole-ass snack right now?” I teased.

I picked up the blankets and as I turned to leave the room I could have sworn I saw Sam wink at me. I almost said something but then decided to just roll with it. Because _of course_ this couldn’t have been that simple.

But that boy was going to owe me into next year at this rate.


	5. the incredible true story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The afternoon aftermath (and other observations).

But..._of course_ I couldn’t sleep. 

Sam’s room was a study in ordered chaos: the bed, his closet, the floor between the bed and the closet were all messy, but his desk and the corner of the room housing various guitars and a couple practice amps were quite tidy. There were a gajillion books and albums everywhere, the walls covered in posters displaying varying interests: the cover of the first Crosby Stills & Nash album (the famous Henry Diltz photo of them sitting on a couch), Jaco Pastorius bent over his bass wearing his funky striped beanie, Rodin’s _The Thinker_ reimagined as a robot contemplating a human skull, a shot of the Grand Canyon at dawn, a patched-together collage of the band’s own flyers through the years (I think Sam was Greta's unofficial archivist? Or maybe it was their mom.), a gorgeous image of what Sam had informed me was the Messier 43 nebulae and a couple photos of big cats in the jungle. Sam loved panthers and leopards.

He had a Beatles calendar next to his desk. October was maybe a mid-’60s shot of the band. No facial hair but the mop-tops were definitely shaggier than previous.

Though what caused me to sit down on the bed and stare for minutes I quickly lost track of was a standing picture frame on his nightstand (he only had one), the kind that was two pieces of glass held together by a metal fixture on the bottom, so you could easily arrange multiple photos or swap them out. It was about the size of a sheet of legal-sized paper and full of pictures of Sam and Danny: one from graduation in their mortar boards and gowns, holding their diplomas and the single rose each graduate was given, one at the beach from some not-too-distant summer, one of them in suits and ties (For a formal dance maybe?), one of them sitting on the hood of a car, wearing sunglasses with their hair just beginning to grow past their ears, beautifully tousled. But it was the photo in the middle of the grouping that made my heart ache, because it was one of mine. It was a shot of all of them on the front porch, taken the day I’d moved in (on a trial basis, but we were months past that now and I was relieved that they’d accepted me, knew I was a force for cohesion rather than disruption), and they were all laughing at me as I got the shot, it was so typically them: Jake’s shirt was mostly unbuttoned and he was giving my lens one of his sultry pouts, Josh was wearing a very colorful kurta-style top and projecting in a comical way, looking like literal sunshine; but Danny and Sam were in the center and Danny held Sam across the chest, a hold that was playful but also protective, it seemed to me. Sam had a look of wild mischief on his face, while Danny was grinning in that way which made me weak. Sam seemed to be both leaning into and trying to escape Danny’s hold, but those arms (with their gorgeous drumming muscles...**damn**) weren’t lettin’ go for nothin!’

So much love, and that’s how I knew I wanted to be there. Not just to be with my still fairly new-found boyfriend, but their whole vibe, these four guys who were their own world.

Sam _wanted_ to be held, always. So he kept the proof of it in a place where it was the first and last thing he saw every day.

I did manage to sleep after a while, curled on my side within the blankets, but the whole room smelled like Sam. It wasn’t **bad**, but it wasn’t my man. 

_You’ll have to get used to it now_, I told myself. Because we might become intimate and I was both intrigued and anxious at the idea. What if he wasn’t really into me, though? If Danny - gorgeous beyond all established standards Danny - was Sam’s true love, anyone else was bound to be a letdown. Even if they were a supermodel genius, for example. And I wasn’t **that**, for sure. But Sam and I had found our own chemistry pretty quickly. I could take his snark and sass, and I was respectful of their existing bond, didn’t try to divide and conquer, So maybe the trust we had established would make everything easier.

_What were they doing in there?_ I wondered, as I imagined Sam would have started talking the minute Danny got into bed. Whatever it was, they weren’t fighting, and Danny hadn’t kicked him out, so…

My eyes finally shut and my brain did too.

I felt the bed move and I immediately opened my eyes. It was definitely daylight, and I blinked, thankful once again that I had managed to mostly abstain, so no hangover. My mouth was dry and I looked over at Sam who was holding a bottle of water.

“Willing to share?” I asked and he gave me a _Really?_ expression but handed me the bottle. I gratefully swigged about half of it. “Is everybody up?”

“Nah. Wagner definitely had too much herb, he’s full-on snoring.”

“I told him! But at least it won’t hurt him to crash out.”

“What’ll it take for you to make scrambled eggs?”

“You still owe me the story of the kiss.”

“Okay, prelude to breakfast, though it’s gonna be challenging without caffeine.”

“Coffee wasn’t your first thought? **You**, sir, are the pod person!”

“Shaddup!” he cracked, smirking. He had put his hair up and his familiar fidget manifested itself as smoothing the sides. He settled on the bed cross-legged. “Okay so, it was Graduation, right, and there were, like, dozens of parties over about four days. We played some of them, and some of them we just went to; they had, like, a DJ or whatever.”

“Didn’t you say there were two other bands in your town?”

“Yeah but our dad is in one of them and the other is like this indie rock deal. We were, like, the best. Those other guys hadn’t even been playing a year.”

“Okay so I’m assuming this happened at one of the parties you _didn’t_ play.”

“Yeah. We weren’t even toasted or anything, I dunno - kind of bored by it all, maybe? Like, we’d been playing all day at his house, just jamming on different stuff and then JoJo came downstairs and said, ‘You guys are gonna miss that party!’ and we suddenly remembered it. We had to go ‘cause it was this guy on Daniel’s golf team. So we’re over there just walking around, we each had a beer but didn’t really drink much, I think we ate some pizza? Pretty soon it was like no one was paying attention to us, we were just watching people and then we walked out beyond their backyard. Dude lived on a few acres like we did, so it was nice. The night was still kinda warm, and all the noise got farther away. We stopped by this one big tree, and Danny put his back against it, and then he just, like, guided me to him. And then he kissed me, but he didn’t hold onto me, so I guess if I wanted to pull back I could have.”

“But you didn’t.”

Sam looked down at his lap, smiling, picking at the edges of his calluses. “Nope. But it wasn’t just one kiss.”

“And then?”

“He got, like, really shy for a minute. It reminded me of when I brought him home the first time and my mom was, like, grilling him. Not in a bad way, but that’s just how she talks to everybody. But then he was himself again, and we walked back to the house, and then we left.”

I sat up and put my knees against his. Sam didn’t move away.

“I’m guessing the girlfriend thing came up, like, the next day?”

He shrugged. “Not _that_ quick, but we all went fishing a couple days later and Joshie was teasing us about all the shit we were gonna get into when we all moved here, and Danny said, 'I am definitely going to find a girlfriend, _finally_.'”

“Didn’t you guys ever date in high school?”

“Not like _date_ date, you know what I mean? Everyone thought I was the fuckin’ prankster dork and girls really liked Danny, but his parents didn’t really want him dating for real. Plus, the band was all we really cared about. Well for him it was the band, golfing, and playing guitar. So it just wasn’t a thing."

“Aww Sammy, did you strike out?”

“Fuck you,” he retorted, but without malice.

“No seriously, that’s so sad. I can’t believe girls didn’t like you.”

“They didn’t take me seriously. So my mom says why don’t I join Pep Squad like Jakey did and then they might see me differently, but they only saw that I wasn’t as cute.”

I put a hand over my heart. “Dude, you are _killing me_ with this!”

“Instead of pitying me you could be making me breakfast.”

“Absolutely,” I said, and pulled him off the bed with me.

“But in all that time, do you know who was always by my side and thought I was a pretty cool dude?”

“Young Daniel?”

“Young Daniel indeed.”

We came downstairs and saw that Josh had vacated the couch but the house was otherwise quiet. Sam made coffee and I began my preparations for breakfast.

“So what happened after your master plan was enacted?” I asked. I didn’t look at him and kept my tone light.

“We talked. But I can’t tell you what we said, he has to do that.”

“Yeah okay. Is everything good, though?”

“Yeah, you know Danny - he doesn’t get mad like that.”

“Did you kiss him?”

“He hugged me, but that’s something he does all the time.”

“You know, you don’t have to downplay your mutual attraction with me, I’m not threatened by it.”

“I know - we agreed that’s, like, maybe the coolest thing about you.”

I laughed as I was cracking eggs into a mixing bowl, looking around for the half-and-half.

“Yeah I know, my taste in music is sometimes questionable and you don’t like that I like scary movies, and I don’t know how to dress myself, but I don’t get jealous.”

“You don’t, it’s pretty amazing.”

“It’s hard fuckin’ work is what it is. Plus, it’s a waste of time - you guys are in a _band_, anybody involved with you **has** to be secure otherwise it’s just masochism.”

“See. there you go with that emotional intelligence again.”

“Alright smartass, if you wanna eat come peel some potatoes.”

Sam grinned and obeyed my command.


	6. "I think I need you to fuck it out of me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quantum entanglements and other (not so spooky) actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem contained herein is indeed an original.

We ate in companionable silence, which stretched into another cup of coffee and both of us paging through the Sunday _New York Times_. It was amusing to watch Sam study the Financial section, those scheming wheels of his continuously turning.

I heard Danny call my name and I was alarmed - he’s not the kind of guy who does that shit, too lazy to get off his ass when he wants something. I tugged at Sam’s arm as I got up from my chair.

“C’mon!”

We hurried upstairs and Danny was half-sitting in our bed, sort of slumped on his side, rubbing at his eyes. He didn’t look like he was hung-over or anything, and beyond maybe smoking too much weed I didn’t think he had done anything else to feel bad about.

“What’s wrong?” Sam immediately asked, looking down at him.

“Uh - am I really awake?”

I sat down next to Danny, taking one of those capable hands in my own. “Yeah babe, it’s pretty late, are you hungry? I made breakfast, and you should definitely drink some water.”

Sam leaned against the headboard, arms folded. “Why do you think you’re dreaming?”

Danny gave us a sheepish look. “I dunno, I just, like, _did all that really happen last night_?”

We cracked up, and his eyes got wide. I hugged him. Sam rubbed the back of his neck, blinking in empathy.

“Yeah. It was _a lot_, I know, but we’re, uh -”

I got up and closed the door. Danny sat up and leaned against the headboard. Sam and I sat across from him. The bed may have not been big enough for three people to sleep in, but it seemed to accommodate us okay for other purposes.

_Hmm._

“So...the important thing to remember in all this is that Sam and I love you, very much. We think that maybe we can try being together. And maybe that’s just being physical, or maybe it’s, like, learning to love as a triad -”

“Like the song,” Sam cut in.

Danny blushed, and he had a way of fluttering his eyes and looking down in a shy moment that just _destroyed_ me with how freakin’ perfect he was.

“But,” I continued, ‘it’s up to you. We all have feelings for each other but we all have to be able to say that we feel the same, or we’re willing to try, at least.”

“Like -”

“Like, Sam-a-lama here is your soulmate, I totally believe that, and I have made the effort to care about him because you do and that means something. But between us, do we feel an attraction the same as, like, you and I do? I don’t know. I just don’t want any of us to feel forced to do something because of what we feel for the other person, or the other people.”

“Wow, soulmate? Really?” Sam gave me a look which I can only describe as _amazed_.

“Absolutely. It’s not just a romantic thing - it’s that person who understands you the best, and you do, you both do.”

“That is why I kissed Sam,” Danny blurted out and our heads turned. He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but then seemed to think better of it.

“Well I’m glad you came up with a reason,” Sam replied quietly. “Finally.”

“Dude, I -”

Danny reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a hair tie, pulling his hair back from his face.

“I’m not mad, Daniel. I told you that. But I was _confused_, you know?”

Danny let out a breathy laugh, then clapped a hand over his mouth. He looked up at us, blinking, that endearing gesture, and I just wanted to tackle him.

“I was confused too, but not. I mean, I love you and so that was me telling you I loved you in a way that wasn’t just, like, the way we all love each other. But I didn’t know what to do with it. And yeah, I wanted to date girls.”

Sam smirked. “Didn’t get too far with that goal, did ya?”

“As far as I needed to go,” Danny said, and smiled at me. See what I mean? Just the right thing.

“I was only confused about what it meant to **you**. It meant _everything_ to me.”

“Sammy, **you** are my everything. You’re the reason I’m in this band, the reason I’m on this path that I’m on, the reason that I can honestly say I have two families. The first time we played music together, all the way back in 7th grade, all I knew is that I never wanted to stop.”

I saw Sam slump a bit at all that, and I didn’t realize he had been holding himself so tightly. I considered that he thought maybe Danny would have something different to say in front of me.

“So...what do you think?” I finally said. “Would we make an okay throuple?”

Sam laughed, that obnoxious braying laugh which managed to be incredibly endearing at the same time. “What the fuck is a throuple?”

“Samuel Francis, don’t sit there and pretend like you haven’t researched polyamory on the internet!”

“Wait a minute,” Danny interjected, eyes wide, “are you telling me there’s homework?”

We all fell out, and if **that** wasn’t a compelling argument for why we should all love each other, then I don’t know what else to say.

I was thinking about the poem I’d written for Danny, inspired by his request to photograph him for their website. They each had a personal page that they could design any way they liked. I suggested a series of shots with different expressions, it turned out pretty cool. I hadn’t given him the poem, thinking I should wait for his birthday, thinking it could use more revision.

_I wield a scythe of ordinary implements_  
_to slice off fragments of you to share_  
_I say “pin the lens”_  
_an encouraging command_  
_to pour yourself into the frame._  
_you you you_  
_Show the expectant gaze what I see in those eyes_  
_hues of comfort -_  
_moss a springy solace_  
_ringing an imposing tree_  
_as if there was never any other thing enduring._  
_If I could picture in actuality_  
_you lifting me above my earthly concerns_  
_the wind singing against our skins._  
_Strength, when you are yet emerging from a sapling state_  
_but there’s years and years inside that shifting universe._  
_We each move_  
_to capture the other._

We brought Danny breakfast in bed, and we took turns kissing him, trying to decide which was the best flavor for a kiss. My vote was for bacon, while Sam insisted it was buttered toast. His reticence melted away and pretty soon the food was all gone too.

“I just want you to know,” Danny said, looking solemn, “that I’ll never say either of you is a better kisser than the other. Just _different_.”

“But clearly I **am** the better kisser,” Sam insisted, then winked at me.

“You haven’t kissed **me**, so how would you know?” I shot back, but teasing.

“Yeah Sammy, you _should_ kiss her.”

We both got weirdly shy for a second, but hell, did I want to kiss Sam? Sure, I mean, he was this enchanting creature who struck me as too perfect to be real most of the time but why would I not want to experience that? I moved down to the foot of the bed and beckoned.

“C’mere Sammy...Danny wants to watch.”

I held his gaze and he bit his lip, and I wondered if he would ever tell Danny about spying on us, But it did the trick. He came over to me and put his perfect face against mine, our lips brushed and he took my face in his hands, so gently.

And then...wow. Boy knew something about everything. But _especially_ kissing. I don’t know how long a time it was when Danny cleared his throat and we came apart.

“Okay, so, I need to piss. And **then** we’re gonna fool around.”

Sam and I gave each other stupid grins, like, _we did it!_

Danny came out of the bathroom and he was ready. And by “ready” I mean fully, gloriously erect. Our grins turned to slack-jawed amazement.

“Damn boy,” Sam said, his voice thick with lust.

“You have seen me naked so many times -”

“Yeah but, not like this.”

“C’mere gorgeous,” I said, patting the space between us.

Sam had a look on his face like: _Is this really happening? This beautiful guy is going to let me touch his naked body, all over?_ And I was thinking: _same_. Neither Sam or I made a move to take off our clothes, we were focused on showing Danny that we wanted to get him off together. But after a few kisses, with Sam running his hands down Danny’s chest and then cupping his scrotum with those long supple fingers, and me gently raking my nails along his inner thighs and then all the way down to his feet, Danny was squirming and whimpering and murmuring _naked_, so we undressed and suddenly it was cocks and tits everywhere.

I had wondered how self-conscious I might feel in this situation but now that it was happening I forgot about myself, enthralled with the mutual perfection before me. But we kept Danny in the middle, whatever was going to happen it was all about him. His exquisite length of limb and appendages, the thick waves of his glossy hair, his golden skin which obsessed me, both in color and texture. And that face, those eyes...I had to stop myself from demanding to know _How are you so perfect?!_ on the daily.

In my mind, just then, I remembered the first time I hung out with the guys, a party at the house of a mutual friend, all of us just talking about random things, and a friend of theirs who was a photographer came by to show them shots from the latest gig, there was one of Danny making what I came to refer to as the _drumgasm_ face, pure bliss in a moment of musical connection and transcendence.

“Ahhhmazing!” I declared.

Sam looked over my shoulder and cracked “Wagner is just _stupid pretty_,” and I thought he was being his natural smartass self but now I realized his desire was the equal of mine, maybe greater.

They were entwined and full-on frotting now, Sam’s slender form fitting so well within Danny’s full-body embrace, every part of them seeking to merge and mesh. Sam was licking and sucking at his neck, Danny grabbed Sam’s ass with both hands and ground them together - it was like I could hear their very bones rubbing. I didn’t feel left out, kissing Danny’s shoulder, I felt like this was meant for me as much as each other.

I suddenly knew what a pleasure it was to watch. Pleasing to watch them please each other.

Sam let out a low moan, his body going rigid, and then a series of gasps followed by a groan. Danny chuckled low and wicked, just like he did when he made me come, and sighed _yeah_. I imagined this was going to be a teasing point of contention forever now.

_Oh yeah? Well I made you come first!_

I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

Sam was beyond words, and that was also a typical effect of Danny’s attentions. Still holding him, Danny turned towards me with a wide smile.

“I dunno, I feel like I’m still high. I think I need you to fuck it out of me.”

I snorted. “I don’t know if that’s a thing, but I’m certainly willing to try.”

Danny's phone erupted with the _Star Trek_ “red alert” sound and we all jumped.

“What the fuck?” Sam said, struggling to sit up.

“Babe, can you get it?” Danny asked and I picked his phone up off the nightstand. The screen showed that it was a calendar alert and I turned it off.

“Uh, it says ‘Sunday Dinner,’” I told him.

“Oh shit!” Danny exclaimed, sitting up. Sam fell away like he weighed nothing, looking bewildered and blissed-out.

“What?” I asked.

“Fuck, we gotta move!” he said, getting out of bed and dashing into the bathroom.

“Why?” Sam croaked. He looked seriously wiped, like Danny had drained his balls _entirely_.

“It’s Sunday Dinner,” Danny replied, standing in the doorway as he hurriedly cleaned himself with a wet washcloth. “With Grandpa.”

Sam and I exchanged a look, like we’d all been somehow married for years and in-law drama becomes just ridiculous and funny after so long. 

**“Oh shit!”**


	7. safety in routine, trust in felicity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kooky on the outside, messy on the inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a TW for suggestions of potential sexual abuse, but not actually described. So if you think you might be triggered just by that, then you might want to skip the last section of this chapter.

There’s just...so much to unpack about what happened next. But I’ll start with how we dressed for Sunday Dinner. Because it totally illustrates how different but sympathetic we were.

We all sort of ran around cleaning up and getting dressed and Sammy was finished first because he had been sensible and just pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt (this tie-dye one I really love and might steal from him someday) with a denim overshirt, socks and Birks. We both yelled at him that he didn’t have time to do his skin-care stuff and we heard him say “Alright, dang!” from his room.

“Kid’s a little defensive, huh?”

Danny grinned, looking through his clothes. “We created a monster, I think.”

I have to qualify that by stating: if you make a suggestion to Sam and he thinks it’s a good idea, he’s going to research the hell out of it and come up with a comprehensive solution which is probably way more complicated than you ever intended. Because that is what evil geniuses do. Me telling Sam he should wash, tone and moisturize on the daily - using Danny’s glowing complexion as an example of my tutelage - turned into him adopting the 10-step routine. Boy’s got _amazing_ skin, so who am I to complain, right?

Back to my man and his wacky dress sense. When Danny was a competitive golfer in high school, he always wore a uniform of sorts: khakis and a school colors polo, logo on the right breast. Nothing fancy or out-there. But he freaking _loves_ course wear, the more garish the better. And not, like, ironically. It’s funny because he and Josh have sort of a similar aesthetic, but while Josh loves bright colors and fashions from other parts of the world, Danny goes for bold colors and unusual combos. So he had donned a pair of madras plaid golf slacks in beige with a pattern of maroon, avocado, harvest gold and earth brown. 

Basically, he was a 1970s kitchen.

The sweater he wore was also red but not maroon. My mom’s a painter, she would have been able to tell me what color it was; I mean, it really doesn’t matter because with his coloring he can wear those gorgeous deep, jewel-type tones. I really shouldn’t wear red because it makes me look blotchy, but guess who tried to match up with her gorgeous man anyway? Yep, it was totally this bitch right here.

Without really stopping to think rationally I pulled out my brown velvet palazzo-type pants (I say “type” because they’re not totally flow-y like real palazzo pants would be) and a peasant-style blouse my dad bought me: cream-colored and lace-trimmed, with red roses embroidered on the bodice. About as girly-girl as I can manage. Plus a pair of my Rosy Posey rose-patterned socks and _my_ Birks (which my dad also bought me at Proof Lab in Mill Valley and I told the Kiszkas that made me way _crunchier_ than they were...not that they believe me or anything).

Danny had to be a rebel and wear his old Top-Siders with no socks, of course. Sam took one look at us and couldn’t stop laughing, the brat.

But let me tell you something: Danny makes those ugly-ass pants _work_. Such is the power of truly heart-stopping beauty.

“C’mon, c’mon,” I urged, grabbing my purse (which by the grace of _whatever_ actually went with the outfit - one of those ‘70s-style Mexican leather purses with hand-painted flowers and a fancy metal clasp). “We can ridicule each other later.”

“I think you look rad, babe,” Danny said as we came down the stairs.

“Josh!” I yelled, “You wanna come with to Danny’s grandpa?”

“Editing, darling!” we heard from the basement.

I knew Jake was hanging out with his friend Spencer - they always have a Sunday night jam with whoever shows up with beer and food in addition to instruments - so we hoofed it to my mom’s old nautical blue Matrix and hit the road. It’s just across town, but Danny is a Good Boy who hates to be late to anything, which makes being in a band with three chaotic brothers quite a challenge to his patience. It’s fortunate for us Danny is the most patient person we all know.

The reason why we are lucky enough to have a house to share is because Danny’s grandfather moved to a retirement community. It’s a lovely place, he has his own little cottage and a golf cart to ride around in, but it’s called Elysian Fields and the first time I went over there with Danny and Sam I cracked that they might as well have called it the Happy Hunting Grounds. Danny turned around in his seat (mind you, he was driving) and gave me a horrified wide-eyed stare. Luckily the speed limit on the grounds is 5mph.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like _that_,” I said, feeling like an utter idiot. “It’s just, who names a place **that**, honestly?!”

“It’s totally fitting,” Sam said, giving me a sidelong smirk.

“Okay but not, like, to actually _admit_.”

“Can you guys _shut up_ please?!”

It was our turn to stare at Danny with big eyes. He doesn’t really get angry, at least not in any usual way. But when he gets annoyed it’s best to pay attention.

“Sorry!” we told him, more or less in tandem.

“Jeez,” he huffed, turning onto the street where his grandpa dwelled, and I examined myself for that all-important first meeting.

But I had nothing to worry about, it seems that all the males in his family are good-natured and sweet. Danny’s grandpa is utterly charming and adorable and I am totally okay with spending every Sunday evening with him forever. We always have a nice dinner (ordered in from a different place every week) and watch _60 Minutes_ then _Columbo_ on one of those nostalgia channels. Danny adores his grandpa and makes certain he has whatever he needs. He seems to have more-or-less adopted Sam as well, and the two of them build models together.

In these instances I am reminded that my relationship with my own family, such as it is, is not so close or loving but I don’t really envy either of them that closeness, because it contributed to who they are. And I _love_ who they are - I love how generous Danny is, open to experiences. I love how protective Sam is, even if he is also a sarcastic brat. They are kind and loving to their elders because that’s what they received in their lives. It’s the natural order of things if you’ve lived it.

_So lucky._ Okay, maybe I’m a little jealous (can’t blame it on drugs this time, lol).

A couple hours later, stuffed with a steak dinner yet still craving cheesecake, I called my mom; which I always seem to do after observing how adorable my boys are with Grandpa.

“Why do you never assume I might be on a date?” was the first thing she said to me.

(Wait, _what?!_)

“On a Sunday? You **never** go out on a Sunday!”

“I might, you never know.”

“You are, like, way too sensible for that. Although I guess you might have someone over for dinner. But they’d have to leave by nine.”

“Yeah, that is true. A woman needs her rest.”

“So are you trying to tell me I’m calling at a bad time?”

She sighed. “No girl, that was more self-pity than anything.”

I sighed; I wasn’t really fond of when my mom got morose on me but as a human being I tried to be empathetic.

“I’m sorry if you’re feeling lonely, Mom. What about that guy -”

“What guy?”

“That guy, you know, the guy who runs the co-op exchange thingy?”

“Eric? He’s great but he doesn’t have time for a personal life. So what is the point?”

“Well…” I felt myself squirming with embarrassment. I just didn’t know how to help and why should I, you know? She has grown-woman problems, had been having them ever since my dad had his midlife crisis twenty years too soon and walked out of our lives, pretty much. But still, I loved her and I didn’t want her to be sad.

“You could be friends, right? Just hang out?”

“We **are** friends, that’s how this whole thing started. But I’m having _feelings_, and that won’t work. Like, what if Danny just wanted to be friends. Wouldn’t that crush you?”

I felt my throat constrict, as if the idea was too much for my body to consider.

“Kinda?” I croaked. “LIke, I’d be sad but I’d still want to be his friend, even if it hurt.”

She must have heard how strange my voice sounded. “I’m sorry, sweets, that was kind of mean of me. I guess I’m being petty but -”

“You have feelings, I totally get it.”

“I really do. I know you don’t want to hear about them, but -”

“Hey, he’s totally happening, for, like, an older dude. So why _wouldn’t_ you?”

She chuckled. “Okay now you’re starting to weird me out, weirdo.”

I laughed, and after a minute or so it was like we reset to normal.

“So, I’m staying here over Fall Break.”

“Yeah okay, but what about T-day?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“If you want to go to Danny’s I won’t be mad. Your Aunt Faye and me will just go out to eat or something, no biggie.”

“Doesn’t Felicia have that big party for the strays?”

She huffed in mock indignation. “I am **not** a stray!”

“I just mean, it kind of sounds like fun, you know?”

She sighed again. “Oh my girl, I hope you never have to learn about getting to the point where the thought of _fun_ just makes you tired.”

“I gotta go, Mom. We’ve gotta clean up here before we leave.”

“Tell Danny and Sam I said hi - oh, and someone came over to my stall at the Saturday Market last week. I was playing the CD you sent me on my boom box and they said: ‘Who is that, they’re totally jamming!’ So I wrote down the website for them and said they should check them out.”

“Awww, look at you, bein’ all supportive! Love ya.”

“Love you too, sweets.”

My mom does try, I have to say. My dad just usually throws money at me to assuage his guilt and whatever hostility he still senses in me, which is not a lot. _Some_, but not a lot. One of the main differences that we have is Danny is really close to his family, they’re totally loving and supportive and caring and all that kind of thing. His mom actually bought him his first drum kit that had belonged to one of his cousins. Most parents wouldn’t be that encouraging.

“Here’s all I’m gonna say about my dad,” I told him during the first weekend we spent together. Sure, we spent most of it _fucking_, between his gigs and the parties and stuff, but we talked a lot too. “Sometimes I would tell my mom in the summer that I wanted to go see him and she didn’t want me to, but once I was a teenager she figured that I should probably try to have a relationship with him - mainly because she couldn’t pay for me to go to collage, but he could.”

He nodded, but looked worried, like he couldn’t imagine his parents not wanting to move Heaven and Earth to help fulfill his dreams. You know, like parents should _want_ to do, even if they can’t _actually_ do it.

“So I’d fly out there, and he was living in this - it wasn’t a commune, but there were people coming and going a lot. I mean, they were all pretty chill people I guess but some of them were kind of...not unstable but just, maybe, chaotic? I dunno, but there was weirdness, from time to time. But I would, like, force him to talk to me about stuff. Like, why did he want to live this way. But he likes being around weird people. It’s his deal. And somebody’s got to, I guess. Anyway, so I was out there the summer after I turned 17 and one day everyone was going to the beach, and so I was gonna have to squeeze into this little car with him and his girlfriend and this other guy who I think kinda had a crush on me? But he was near my dad’s age. Not, like, full-on pervy but it was a whole vibe.”

“Oh my god, seriously? _Ewww_.”

“Well, I mean, he wasn’t like **that**. It was sad, actually. Like, that he had to catch feelings for me instead of one of the girls in their scene, and my dad, being who he is, always had _so many girls_ around because they want to meet the guys he worked with and stuff. I feel like it was more that he was mentally, like, not totally together and he thought I was kinda safe? Like, if he had a secret fantasy crush on me then nobody would get hurt, but _especially_ him. Because he seemed pretty depressed a lot of the time.”

“Still though, it made you feel weird, right? That’s bad.”

“Yeah it was weird. So I kinda freaked out at the thought of spending several hours in a car with him, even if my dad was there because he was one of my dad’s best friends. He was a musician too and my dad loves musicians. Like, if he actually met you he’d be so hyped.”

“No offense, but I don’t know if I **want** to meet him.”

“It’s okay. Anyway, so everyone was walking out the door and I said, ‘You know what? I’m just gonna stay home.’ and he fucking freaked out on me. And I started to wonder if maybe -”

Danny’s eyes grew wide and he looked distressed. “No!”

“To this day, I don’t really know. I mean, it’s something that wouldn’t surprise me. But he kinda just snapped, like, _get in the fucking car_, and I did it because he was being scary, and nothing happened, but I realized that he would never, like, put himself in my shoes. And when you love somebody, you think about how **they** feel about things. And I realized he wouldn’t do that. So I let him throw money at me even though I’d give it all up tomorrow if he just, like, acted like an actual dad.”

Danny blinked, his expression melting from anger to sorrow. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Let me play you a song, it might make you feel better.”

It was pretty amazing, actually, that he didn’t get physical with me at that moment, even though I knew he wouldn’t see it as an excuse for more sex. But wanting to alleviate my pain. And music _can_ do that, music _did_ do that. He picked up his acoustic guitar and played “Black Mountain Side” and I was so impressed, I knew that song wasn’t too easy to play. I watched his face and all of his passion was right there, just beneath his gorgeous skin and bones. But when he was finished I was more surprised than he was that I found myself crying.

“It’s okay,” Danny said, putting his arms around me. “Just let it out of you, you don’t have to keep carrying it around.”

I didn’t want to be a mess, not when we were still just getting to know each other. But he didn’t care, it was like he already knew everything he thought he needed to about me.

And so did I.


	8. the obligatory camping expedition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because it's not Greta Van Fic without a camping trip, amirite?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part one of two (just in case you're wondering why I chose to conclude where I did). Don't worry, I know everybody (or should I say *most* everybody) wants sex in a tent, lol.

There were another two shows before Fall Break and, more importantly, our camping trip. They all insisted we had to go camp out before it got “too cold” and I supposed that meant below freezing. I had gone on a camping trip with the boys and various other friends during the summer but fall camping? We all know what that means...that’s right, Creepy AF and I am here for it!

One of the gigs was at a pub called The Black and Tan and it was kind of weird because they normally only booked punk bands. Or Celtic bands. Or Celtic punk bands. I was worried about people getting too drunk and rowdy, and then Jake reminded me how many biker bashes they’d played over the years where being drunk and rowdy was pretty much the law.

“First time I ever drank liquor was at one of those things,” Danny reminisced.

“Oh fuck that was nasty shit too!” Sam exclaimed. “Like, some kinda bourbon, I think.”

Jake gave them a sidelong glance which judged them to be _Amateurs_.

“But we’ve moved up in the world now!” Josh insisted, looking over at their manager. “Haven’t we, Mikey?”

“Don’t knock the M.C.s completely, Joshie,” Mike replied. “They pay really well.”

There weren’t many takers for the merch - Mike told me to knock off after about an hour - but I got hit on a gazillion times. “I’m with the band!” I kept yelling, and one dude was all, “Oh that’s fine, honey, I don’t mind sharing!” I laughed in his face and told him to get the fuck away from me. Luckily no one was obnoxious enough to recover from my kiss-off and come after me. I had a vision of Danny leaping out from behind his drums and putting those muscles to other uses and I didn’t want Greta to become _that_ kind of band. My man wasn’t a violent person but I knew he wouldn’t hesitate to defend any one of us.

Mike told me the reason they were playing this pub was that somebody on the entertainment committee for the city’s annual Fall Fest was known to frequent the place and he wanted to schmooze a bit if he could. Apparently getting booked for it was a big deal and he thought they were finally at a level where they could if only the right person saw them in their element. So they were a bit showier than usual, dressed in their more fancy threads and bringing the sexy charisma. Jake especially had most of the females screaming as he pranced in his corner of the glorified raised platform which was the stage. And sure enough, he ended up with somebody’s bra for his collection by the end of the night.

“Jacob Kiszka, panty peeler,” I teased him as Danny and I were loading up my car. We could actually fit his entire kit - excluding the bass drum and floor tom - in the back with the seats folded down.

“It’s a gift,” he said with a wave of his hand, like he was the Pope.

We all snickered and screamed his name.

A caravan assembled for the four-hour drive to Ramble Bramble campground, adjacent to a large recreational area including acres of woods and a couple lakes with miles and miles of hiking trails. The boys had been camping and hiking there since forever and while I hadn’t really done that much camping in the woods (beach camping was more my style), it really was a beautiful place and I was happy to join in. The campground had some amenities at least, like showers and a small General Store by the entrance for any last-minute supplies or emergencies. But my plan was to actually avoid bathing given the chilly weather, so I had Danny put my hair in as tight a French braid as I could stand, and I was going to leave it like that for as long as possible.

Jake had crammed various people into one of those boring Chevy sedans their dad had bought at a police auction for the three of them to share, while Josh and his bestie Micah were in Micah’s truck with most of the gear, and our (still on the downlow) Throuple brought up the rear in the SUV which Danny had been allowed to drive in a kind of extended loan from his parents. What they _didn’t_ know was that he let Sam drive it most of the time, but luckily nothing catastrophic had occurred as a result of that decision. _Yet._

We headed out of the city, stopping at this one Sunoco which was known for having the best prices on everything because they catered to the people _leaving_ town. We all got out of the car (I was driving) and I held out my hands.

“Gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free!” I proclaimed.

“What if we gave you all three, then would we get to ride for free?” Danny asked.

Sam and I just stared at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I had counted to 20 in my head when Danny’s mouth dropped open and he said, “Ohhhh.”

We **died** laughing, y’all. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard. Danny isn’t dumb, not by any means, but sometimes he’s...just...oblivious, I guess? He has so much music-related stuff crammed in his brain that certain things are just not obvious to him. It was like I was dating Gracie Allen reincarnated as...the gorgeousness which is my boyfriend.

“Damn, I thought you _were_ actually kidding there for a second,” Sam said.

Danny smacked him on the ass. “Shaddup!”

“This is all very amusing but somebody better give me some damn money,” I insisted. Sam handed me a $5 and a $10 which looked like they’d gone through the wash. Danny fished out a $20. I dug out a $10 and figured we had enough to fill the tank, so we wouldn’t have to stop again except for a bio break or unless everyone wanted to eat before we got there. The rule was that whoever was driving had to pump the gas, so the boys were on snack duty. I didn’t mind, and I kinda liked the idea of people thinking such a nice-looking car might actually be mine.

We walked past the other pumps to the store with Sam leading the way and passed Jake extorting money from his passengers as well. He was carrying what he considered to be the essentials: all the booze and instruments.

“Daniel,” I asked _sotto voce_, “did you remember the condoms?”

“Yep,” he replied, equally quiet.

“Hold up,” Sam said, turning around and taking my arm. We came to a halt. “I thought you were on the pill.”

“Oh we double-bag _that_ shit,” Danny assured him, and his tone was humorous but also kinda breathy, like when you talk about doing something really stupid even though you’ve figured out how not to get killed.

“That’s a big 10-4, good buddy,” I said, as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

“Well why didn’t you tell me I needed to pack _that_?”

“Bold of you to assume you’ll be fucking me,” I shot back, but I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Uh -” Danny began, looking over his shoulder, “can this possibly wait until we’re back in the car?”

“Not if I need to buy some rubbers it can’t!” 

“Sammy, hush! It’s a big box.”

“Big box for big boys,” I cracked, skipping the rest of the way to the entrance.

They both got in the back with a ginormous bag of gummy worms and fresh cups of coffee, but my man is nothing if not attentive to my needs and made sure I had a can of Coke for my Greta koozie and a bag of Cheetos Mix-Ups (xtra cheezy). It was 10:30 in the morning, but what the hell. I put on the “Road Toonz” playlist that Sammy had linked me to from Spotify and we were on our way. I made sure to keep Micah’s truck in view; even though I had directions and all I am notorious for getting lost.

And then they started singing that _the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out_ song which made me think of Laird Barron and I almost switched to an audiobook just to annoy them, but suddenly they were doing that _Lady and the Tramp_ thing with a fat red worm and I had to yell at them.

“Hey!” I hollered. “If you don’t want us all to die this morning then no getting nasty in the back because I wanna watch!”

“Don’t be jealous,” Sam snarked. “You know you’re gonna get yours later on.”

“It’s not that, Ding-Dong, I don’t wanna miss the show!”

“This is **not** a show, this is a tender moment with my guy.”

And the way he said _my guy_ just made Danny and me both go _awww_ because Sam is not really overly sentimental. I felt myself blushing.

“Okay, sorry. _Of course_ you can cuddle with your guy - just don’t get too crazy though. No rockin’ while we’re rollin,’ capiche?”

Danny snorted. “That was clever, babe!”

Sam gave me a _yeah whatever_ eyeroll, but then he winked.

And those two kissed and groped and fed each other gummy worms for, like, an hour. They looked so pretty. It was real passion, they kept smiling so wide to finally just _do it_, to be honest in the full spectrum of their feelings for each other. It was more that which turned me on than just the boykissing, seeing them in love made me love them that much more. The floodgates were officially **open** for real. After all, when we got to the campground everything would have to go back to Bestie mode, instead of the Besties With Benefits setting. I began to ponder scenarios where we went off on our own for a picnic, just the three of us...and what that might be like.

I was convinced it might be quite romantic, actually.

After two rest stops and a trip to a Ya-Ya’s for some chicken we finally made it to the campground and luckily it was already past check-in so we were able to roll right up to our campsite at the end of a turnoff which had a big stone fire pit in the center and was right next to a stunning view of a nearby gorge with a stream running through it. From the position of the sun I could tell that it would be an amazing spot for viewing the sunset. Better still, there didn’t appear to be anyone else nearby so we could have a drunken singalong tonight, at least.

“Where are the bathrooms?” one of the Heathers whined as soon as she was out of the car. 

Josh pointed to a dirt track which wound through the trees just beyond the campsite. I came with and it ended up that the building wasn’t too far away, but that walk would be friggin’ **spooky** at night, even _with_ a flashlight. She huffed but was grateful there were enclosed toilets and showers at least, though nothing fancy. There was even a mirror above the sinks. When we returned, Micah was standing by the truck with his foot on a squat bulky object.

“Is that -” I began, and Sam shushed me.

“I catch _anyone_ taking a shit in this and they will discover your rotting corpse in the woods at a later date because I will fucking **murder** you.”

“Damn!” Mark exclaimed (he was a long-time friend of the twins but not the besties). “Harsh much?”

“I brought this for the females to use at night because you **don’t** want to be wandering around in the woods. The rest of us can just piss in a designated spot.”

That Micah, he really **is** a gentleman. The first time I met him he actually _bowed_ to me. I was, like, _did you time-travel from 1896 or what?_ I finally realized that what he had his foot on was a chemical toilet.

“Thanks for hooking us up,” I said, blowing him a kiss. He put a hand on his chest and inclined his head.

“Come get your tent!” Josh called out. “We’ve got a couple hours; it gets dark pretty fast here.”

We had two six-person tents and one eight-person tent. Danny quickly grabbed a six-person tent and claimed one of the spots. Whenever he picks up something heavy like it’s nothing my ovaries are _destroyed_. The campsite was technically for ten people and we had eleven, but we’d already tried the three of us in a four-person tent and it was fucking _cramped_, so I had a diva moment and insisted on a six-person tent otherwise there would be no further experimentation. I mean, there’s togetherness and then there’s having to share a tent with two behemoths, no matter how much I loved them. We’d even brought an extra air mattress just in case I lost my patience and had to sleep in the car. Danny and Sam quickly set about making sure the space was clear and level, then staking the ground cover and assembling the tent poles. In the same amount of time Josh and Micah were engaged in similar labor while Jake’s pack of party animals were arguing over who was going to put up their tent. I got going on inflating the air mattresses and shaking out the sleeping bags. I watched Danny and Sam working together, their routine no doubt created from years of practice, and felt my heart swell again.

_Damn I was lucky._ Even with all the minor chaos coming from the other side of the campsite, I felt like this was the most perfect place to be with...my guys? Or at least my guy and _his_ guy. 

I kinda liked thinking of it in just that way.


	9. Does a throuple fuck in the woods?  Yeah, about that…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam learns to behave himself, and probably no one is more surprised than him.

After the tent was set up and deemed to be structurally sound, Danny and I carried the mattresses inside - a Twin XL and a California King - which seriously tested the limits of the structure, but when you love a big man, you generally desire a big bed. We didn’t even have to push them together, they took up pretty much the entire tent. There was just a narrow rectangle of space at the foot near the door. I hung a battery-powered mini lantern from the topmost gear hook, placed a flashlight in each of the storage pockets, and spread out another tarp to put our shoes on so we didn’t have to leave them outside. Then I unzipped all the flaps and vents to air it out, spreading the sleeping bags across the two mattresses. Danny had a waterproof case for his phone with a lanyard, so he hung it from another of the gear hooks and was bumping Lewis Del Rey as we got things all set up. He had told me once that his biggest musical fantasy was to have a side project with just himself and Sam, so he loved what the guys in LDR were doing.

The current song was rather appropriate, I thought.

_Freedom ain't it frightening_  
_like swimming in the lightning_  
_deadly but delighting._

We **were** free, I was thinking, placing various accessories in the storage pocket behind our mattress, and we could do anything now. If nothing else, it would be interesting to find out just how far we would go.

“We need some mood lighting!” I exclaimed.

“Like the song goes, moonlight feels right,” Danny said, stacking all of our backpacks in one corner.

“True. Can we get a signal out here to find out the phase of the moon?”

“They’ve got free wifi at the General Store.”

“Or you can just wait a few hours, dang,” Sam interjected, poking his head in to inspect our work.

“Whatever!” I shot back, rolling my eyes.

“It’s like you’re _excited_ or something,” he teased, stepping inside and putting a snarky emphasis on the adjective.

“Aren’t you?” I asked, and it was a genuine question. I put my hand on his heart, and I could feel his pulse jump.

Sam started to give me a sneer, then he laughed softly and squeezed my hand. “Yeah,” he whispered.

“So if this works out,” Danny said, standing behind me and hugging me to him, “tent in the backyard, eh? Like, away from the house though.”

Sam and I immediately cracked up.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause that’s not suspicious at all!”

“Daniel I love you, but you are goddamn crazy if you think I’m gonna fuck you in a tent in the winter.”

“Okay, one: they’ll just think we’re being our normal dweeby selves. And two: don’t you know that skin-on-skin contact is the warmest thing there is?”

I tilted my head back and looked up at him, Danny raised his eyebrows and grinned.

“I am _totally_ looking that up on the Internet.”

“Don’t even try to deny that you would never say _no_ to this kid,” Sam razzed me. “He just has to breathe and you are a **puddle**.”

“Damn Sam-a-lama, it’s like that, huh? Just gonna call my ass out?!”

Danny laughed but gave Sam a little shove. “Behave, Samuel.”

“Or what?”

Danny gave him a look, like, _do you **really** wanna test me?_ and Sam immediately stopped clowning. I wanted to exhort _Oh now who’s whipped?!_ but figured Danny was trying to instill order and I would also get in line because...well, why _wouldn’t_ I, you know? Just livin’ in the Big Man’s world, that’s me.

Dinner was beyond simple: hot dogs (both regular and vegan) and s’mores roasted over our blazing fire pit. Micah had brought all the fixings and part of the agreement was that each person provided a pack of hot dogs. Micah and Jordayn (who was in Josh’s film history class and had a _massive_ crush on Jake) were the veggies in our group. One of the Heathers was kinda vegetarian, but the other wasn’t. The rest of us were your average meat-eaters. Micah had offered to take charge of all the cooking, but I said I would make Hobo Stew at least one of the nights, and I could do it both ways.

“Wow, that takes me back to Boy Scouts,” Josh had said, grinning.

“God, I bet you were so freakin’ adorable!”

He shrugged. “Well, Jakey was the charmer, you know, when it was time to pimp that popcorn!” 

We all laughed...Jake was many things to many people, but to us he was a loveable scamp.

I had to fight off the ravening hoard because everyone wanted to use my Coleman s’mores toaster, but otherwise it was a good time. The guys broke out the guitars and Jordayn had brought her ukulele along as well. We had a few singalongs and then left it to our semi-professionals to entertain us and themselves - because there was truly nothing they loved better than to play together.

The Throuple had made a solemn pact not to get wasted for two reasons: fun and games later on _and_ we were going on an early-morning hike the next day, whether anyone else wanted to or not. But we knew Josh and Micah were up for it, at least. I think Josh would hike everyday if he could, he loves being deep in the woods on or off the trail. I think the woods and on stage are the only places where he’s truly at peace. Which is not to say he’s tormented or anything, but Josh is very driven.

The moon rose...and it was past the first quarter, I guess? Bigger than a quarter but not quite full. I looked up and softly sang _the wind blew some luck in my direction, I caught it my hands today_. I looked over at Danny and I swear I could see him blushing by the firelight. Sam grinned and replied _I finally made a tricky French connection -_ and Danny ducked his head, shaking it with laughter. No one else was paying attention to us and that was fine, because we were all the entertainment we needed.

Around ten o’clock I started yawning for real. When you’re in the actual dark I think your body just automatically reverts to the most primal impulses. So Danny and I took one last trip to the restroom up the trail and said our good nights. We knew Sam would be along in however long he decided was enough time to pretend that we’d had sex and so he could then go to sleep.

I kept my thermal underwear on. _Sexy_, Danny had teased but it was cold. Not too damp but I could feel it in my bones. My sleeping bag was fleece-lined, at least. We spooned and talked quietly.

“So whose turn is it?” he asked me.

“Sammy. We’ll see how he is with being played with.”

“I would have thought - I mean, I liked it, when you guys were -”

“Well _duh_. But, I don’t want Sam to feel like he has to be physical with me unless he really wants to. So this is a way of finding out.”

“I won’t lie, I really wanna grind on him again.”

“And he totally wants you to. So yeah, you should do that.”

“And in the meantime?”

I slid off my bottoms and panties and placed one of his hands on my crotch. Danny gently ran his fingertips over my pubes and stroked my labia, which was enough to make me arch back against him.

“Hey girl,” he murmured, “seems like you might need some help there.”

“_Please_,” I breathed, feeling my juices flow.

First one finger and then two, sliding slowly all the way in and then out. Once inside I tightened around them, but not too much. He would then wiggle and I would giggle. But he knew exactly where that all-important bundle of nerves resided and he started with feather-light touches which turned into pressing and then rubbing and I squirmed against his other arm.

“Oh no, you’re gonna have to let this happen,” he whispered, low and dark.

I made squeaking sounds and writhed around his hand as he moved faster within me.

“Sooooo slippery.”

I panted, beyond words, but he wouldn’t let me rush, always encouraging multiples. And then they hit me, a string of spasms as I felt the wetness engulf his fingers.

“Yeah? C’mon, let it all go, beautiful, let it come.”

I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it and he chuckled.

“That’s my girl.”

I could feel Danny’s cock against my ass and coccyx, so incredibly erect. I slid his fingers out and turned around, humping him and he let out a hiss at the warmth of my lubrication. I took his hand and had him trace his lips with his fingers. His tongue licked them clean.

“Mmmm, I wish I could live on girlcum.”

“I’m sure you’d have a never-ending supply, Big Man.”

Danny snorted and rolled his amazing hazel eyes, glowing with arousal.

“Joshie says that’s Jakey’s beauty secret, all that _attention_.”

We cracked up and then we heard the zipper as Sam entered the tent and closed the door behind him.

“Goddamn it, you’d better be done because I couldn’t wait any longer,” Sam whispered and he **did** sound desperately horny.

“We haven’t done...much,” Danny said, holding out his hand. “Get in here.”

Ooooh, his voice did _a thing_ when he said that, like, all of his testosterone just possessed him or something. Sam’s clothes were gone in seconds. Danny pulled him down between us and his hands were suddenly everywhere. Sam had an ecstatic look on his face which was so beautiful, similar to how he looked when he played, when the groove was just right and he and Danny were locked in, tighter than anything. He took Danny’s cock in his hand and Danny bit his lip, hard, his face contorting.

“No,” he groaned, “not yet!”

Ah...too late. Pearly splashes appeared and Sam grinned, like suddenly he was King of the Hand Jobs.

“Hey!” I whisper-shouted, smacking his shoulder. “I prepared him for you!”

“I’m pretty sure that boner wasn’t really for me, but -”

“Quit it!” Danny interjected. “Now then, who’s gonna clean me up?”

He laid back, arms behind his head and the sight of his armpit hair made me weak. His pheromones were already commanding me to bone him like we were gonna be killed at any moment the way any bunch of Gen Zers who go camping in the woods would be in the movies. Sam looked at me, blinking.

“Do you wanna?” I asked. “I mean, this is a thing and I highly recommend it, but it’s up to you.”

Sam swung his gaze to Danny, who gave him a loving smile, and then back to me.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

I sat back and watched Sam lick it up like a good boy and **wow**. Even if he really wasn’t into me, watching him be submissive to Danny was _priceless_. Then he rubbed his face against Danny’s cock and Danny nearly lost it again, becoming erect so quick it made him moan. He pulled Sam up so that their faces were level and kissed him deep and hungry. And yep, there they went again, Danny grinding on him and Sam moaning, running his hands across that broad back and down those exquisite biceps. My pussy clenched in sympathy. I thought of the times I’d walked around with a Danny-shaped imprint inside of me, proud and wanton. Walking differently because I’d been stretched in ways I’d never been before. I wished that Sam would beg for it like I did, but he probably wasn’t ready yet.

Danny came again, letting out a familiar low grunt and Sam followed almost immediately, making a weird high-pitched whine and Danny threaded his fingers through Sam’s hair close to the scalp, pulling it taunt.

“That’s right,” he purred, “all over me.”

I gasped, feeling myself throb. I think I’d just had my first spontaneous orgasm.

I’d had to pee, putting on clothes and my ratty old slip-ons, for a visit to the chemical toilet and when I came back the two of them were making out like the horny still-teenagers they were. I figured introducing Sam to my fluffy brush collection could wait another night. I grabbed my pillow and sleeping bag and stretched out on the twin mattress, settling in with my back against Danny’s, letting the sounds of their affection lull me to sleep.

Just as I was drifting off I heard Sam murmur: _I didn’t know that I loved you **this** much._

And Danny said: _I’ve always known I did._

See what I mean? Just the right thing at the right time. If Sam hadn't been completely in love with Danny before, I was sure he was now.


	10. the rosy asscrack of dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #boyfriendinatree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired in part by the photos of the boys at Monument Valley.

Danny had set an alarm on his phone and when it went off I awoke somewhat reluctantly. It was just starting to get light outside, I didn’t even want to know what time it _actually_ was. I rolled over to see Sam jump up from the other mattress, pull on clothes and his Birks and exit the tent. I don’t think I’d ever seen him move so fast. Danny rolled over to face me, his hair everywhere. I pushed it out of his face and he smiled.

“Good morning, love of my life,” I said, grinning back.

“Good morning beautiful.” He kissed me and that might have taken a little while except that he had to yawn.

“Did you two get _any_ sleep at all?”

“Kinda?”

“Uh-huh. Well your gorgeous ass is going hiking anyway.”

“Yeah totally, babe.”

I sat up, checking my own hair to make sure the braid was still tight. Then I pulled on Danny’s old golf team hoodie and my comfy warm sweatpants and went to scrounge some breakfast. Micah was already up and offered to share his cereal. Sam was boiling two saucepans of water on the camp stove.

“Dude, I brought the coffee pot to put on the fire,” I told him.

“We’ll do cowboy coffee tomorrow. But right now I need some _good_ coffee,” Sam insisted, producing a small French Press contraption from one of the storage containers.

“Of course you do,” I murmured, bumping him with my shoulder. “It’s _exhausting_ rubbing up on that dick, huh?”

Sam’s cheeks flushed pink and he smirked. “You snore,” he said. “**A lot**.”

“I always do sleeping outdoors. My sinuses are all: _fuck this Nature shit_!”

Our man emerged from the tent, pulling on a t-shirt and zipping up his jeans. Goddamn is he a whole-ass unit! BDE for _days_, y’all. We both just stared at him, frozen for a moment. Danny shook out his hair and pulled it back into a half-tail. “What?” he asked.

“That treasure trail, am I right?” I whispered to Sam.

“You most certainly are,” he whispered back.

“Hi babe,” I said. “You want some cereal?”

“Did you bring the Honey Smacks?”

“Yepper!” I sat down next to Micah who shuddered and ate another spoonful of muesli.

Danny pulled a box out of the storage container with all the food and opened it eagerly. Sam poured one of the saucepans of boiling water into the French Press.

“First cup’s yours, Wagner,” Sam said, “but it’s gonna cost you a bowl of cereal.”

“As long as you don’t eat half the fuckin’ box we’re good, Sam-a-lama.”

I leaned in towards Micah. “They grew up together,” I murmured and he snickered, understanding my reference to one of our favorite movies, _The Philadelphia Story_.

“Where’s Joshie?” I asked him.

“He went to wash up, said he didn’t want to go hiking feeling all grimy.”

“My ears are burning!” I heard the man himself say, coming down the trail from the bathrooms. He wore his favorite peach-colored shorts over long johns tucked into neon striped socks and topped with a hunter green t-shirt enscribed with the word EXPLORE! in gold lettering and a soaring eagle above it, plus a faded flannel shirt and his trusty goosedown vest which was brown. He was looking very forest-y in a totally Josh kind of way.

“You aren’t gonna hike in your Birks, are you?” I asked.

“We’re not gonna go off-trail this time,” he replied, tying a braided leather headband in place. “Micah says he’s not in the mood to re-enact a cinematic classic.”

I laughed and took out my phone, holding it up to see if I got any bars. Miraculously I did get two so I snapped a pic of the woods just beyond the campsite and posted it to Instagram.

_Are these woods haunted? We’ll let you know...maybe. #fallcamping #blairwitchshit_

I showed it to Josh and he laughed. Sammy took a look over Josh’s shoulder and frowned.

“Don’t jinx us!”

“Don’t pretend to be superstitious, Samuel!”

Danny rolled his eyes. “We’ve hiked Marsden, like, _dozens_ of times. It’s totally no big.”

“My outta-shape ass needs something easy today, kiddies,” Micah informed us. “I’m going to get water, who wants to help?”

Danny got up and grabbed our big True Value bucket from the car. “I’ll do it,” he said. “You make sandwiches - we brought bologna.”

“I can make sandwiches,” I said.

Josh put a solicitous hand on my arm. “Micah makes the _best_ sandwiches, doll. You make sure we have all the other snacks, okay?”

I saluted him and we set about our tasks. I parceled out baggies of dried fruit, turkey jerky and trail mix. Danny returned with buckets of water we used to wash up the breakfast dishes. Josh made sure we had compasses, the trail map, and plenty of drinking water. Micah made sandwiches and Sam brewed us each a cup of coffee with the French Press. And during all of that the occupants of the other tent had not stirred one iota.

“Did they drink _all_ the booze already?” I asked.

“Probably tried to,” Josh replied, grinning.

The sun was starting to break the horizon as we were ready to go. We had to leave early because the trailhead was on the totally opposite side of the recreation area, so that was going to be a 20-minute walk in itself. Marsden Trail was a five-mile hike alongside Marsden Lake, it was level going most of the way. There was a picnic area and another, smaller, campground at the end of it. It was too cold to swim but it had a really pretty view and I planned to take photos of my boys improving the scenery.

I had changed into jeans, a t-shirt and flannel overshirt, some special hiking socks and my well-worn Timbalands. Admittedly, since Danny and I started dating, I had _finally_ broken them in because these boys were all about the outdoors. Danny and Sam and Micah dressed much the same, and Danny had taken back his scarlet hoodie with the big MUTH in gray letters across the chest. I tied the hoodie I brought around my waist but figured I’d probably be too warm from walking to put it on until late afternoon.

“Sunscreen!” I called out as we got our backpacks together. We each carried two big bottles of water and a hydroflask clipped to the outside of our packs. We each had an equal portion of food as well as extra socks, a rain poncho, and a mylar blanket. You couldn’t say we weren’t prepared. I donned a ball cap my dad gave me from one of his clients, not because I even knew who they were, but I liked the colors. Everyone had a hat and Danny wore one of his golfing visors. It was too early for shades, but we all checked to make sure we had brought them, as well as a flashlight. We weren’t planning to rush and it might start to get dark on the way back.

“Geez, you’d think we were going on an expedition,” Sam groused, pulling his pack onto his back. I sprayed him with natural bug repellent as a final measure.

“I like to be safe,” I said, and Danny kissed me on the forehead.

“Honestly, there were at least a couple hikes I’m amazed we came home from. Like, this one time me and Sam were up at Yankee Springs with nothing but a bottle of water and half a pack of Slim Jims and we were gonna cut across this meadow to another trail and totally missed it somehow. I don’t even know how we managed to find the trail we came in on again.”

“Oh my god where are my Slim Jims?!” Sam exclaimed, running to the car.

“Before I forget,” I said to Danny, handing him two packages of Skittles. He gave me the most adoring smile and another kiss.

“It’s the rosy asscrack of dawn, friends and neighbors,” Josh proclaimed, walking backwards away from our site, arms spread wide. “And we must be on our way.” 

We all hurried to catch up with him and as we walked he led us in a quiet rendition of “Good Day Sunshine.”

About a mile in, once we’d entered the trailhead, Sam and Danny spied a tree I guess they recognized from before. The next thing I knew Danny asked me to hold his pack and ran right at it. In thirty seconds he was halfway up the thing and I nearly lost my shit.

“Daniel Robert, what the fuck?!”

Sam laughed gently. “That boy _lives_ to climb shit, I mean, I’d have thought you’d know that by now.”

“Fuck off,” I said, but I meant it with great affection.

“Oh wow, I can see the campground from here!” Danny exclaimed from far above. I was afraid to look because my heart felt like it wanted to leap out of my body.

“No shit!” Sam replied. “Like, tents?”

“Tents and campers and a parking lot. I don’t see us, though.”

“Probably too far away.” Sam sat down on a rock and pulled out a Slim Jim. “Seems like it’s gonna be a nice day, at least.”

Josh and Micah had stopped a little further up the trail when they realized we weren’t behind them. 

“Is Daniel up a tree again?” Josh asked teasingly.

“Of course!” Sam replied. 

They moved to the side facing the lake and Josh took out a camera. Sure enough, in a couple minutes he was filming the scenery, riffing as he did so about what terrible creature slumbered beneath the lake’s placid and glassy surface. The breeze came through, rustling the branches above.

“Whoa!” Danny called out. “I’m rockin’ in the treetop!”

“Daniel _please_, whatever sexual favor you desire is yours if you come down **now**.”

Sam brayed and unscrewed his hydroflask.

“Maybe we _both_ have to bribe him.”

“Well you give it your best shot, Sam-a-lama, and make sure your brother can hear you.”

Sam stuck out his tongue and had a long drink of water.

“Daniel, _please_ come down. We have candy!”

“I’ve been waiting for _years_ for this tree to get tall!”

“Last year,” Sam began, “we went out to California with Danny’s team ‘cause they had a tourney and Mike got us a couple gigs and we went to this place in the desert with lots of rock formations. You would have **died** to see where he climbed that time.”

“Don’t you even fuckin’ tell me,” I said, raising a scolding finger. “But you know, I would have pegged _you_ for the climber.”

“Nah girl, I don’t do shit. Wagner’s the natural athlete, it’s _disgusting_.”

“Don’t be jealous, Sammy,” Danny called down. “Goddamn I really wanna live in a tree!”

“Fuck’s sake!” I yelled. “We will build you a goddamn treehouse if you just _come down_!”

“Oh now you’re just delusional,” Sam said, pulling out a gooey mass of gummy worms. “I’d leave his ass up there ‘cept we’d just have to find another drummer and that is _the worst_.”

“You wouldn’t build your man a house, huh? Really Sammy?”

Sam wiggled on the rock like one of those worms, rolling his eyes.

“Shaddup!” he finally said.

“I’m totally telling. That’s a dealbreaker right there.”

“You don’t even know!”

I laughed. I had the thought that maybe he was trying to calm me down in his way, and Sam didn’t appear too concerned, so I had to believe that Danny was capable of such feats. I got up and took a photo of the tree even though I couldn’t actually see Danny in it, he had climbed right up into the foliage. I checked my bars again and this time I had three.

“Wow, did they put wifi in here?” I asked.

Micah looked up from his phone with a smirk. “I bet they did.”

I posted the photo, thinking of the various responses I’d get: _#fallcamping #fallhiking #boyfriendinatree_

“I mean, God forbid anyone just enjoyed Nature,” Josh snarked, and we all blew a raspberry at him. “Daniel, you’ve been up there long enough now, okay?”

“Okay,” Danny called down, and this was followed by various rustling sounds.

I looked at Sam who shrugged and grinned. “We’ve been taking orders from Joshie way longer.”

I smiled at Josh who was moving up the trail again, looking through his camera. “Fair enough.”


	11. negotiating the terrain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam being agreeable is a little suspicious, but we'll let it slide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly transition, but I have **owed you** an update, I know. Apologies!

It was so nice there by the lake, just hanging out and eating Micah’s yummy sandwiches (he was an absolute _genius_ with bologna) and we were all reluctant to leave but by three o’clock Josh started wondering if the others had done something crazy yet.

“I mean, _would_ they?” I asked. Jake definitely enjoyed embodying the rock n’roll ideal but he didn’t strike me as a true wildman. My dad partied with guys like that. I have _seen_ some shit, lemme tell ya.

“You just never know,” Sam replied with a straight face. I couldn’t tell if he was fucking with me so I shrugged and started repacking my backpack. I brought along my human shield for one last pee and he scooped me up and pinned me to a sturdy tree, my legs around his waist.

“Would this be too scratchy?” Danny teased with that gorgeous grin of his.

“KInda?” I said, but my heart wasn’t in it because I think we all fucking know I’d do him anywhere, anytime. Against whatever better judgment I might possess, sure, but if he gave me the smolder with those amazing eyes of his...I’d totally be a goner.

“I’d make it quick.”

I giggled and kissed him, but my bladder wasn’t having it.

“I really need to pee, Big Man, but I _promise_ I will make it up to you.”

We heard a rustle and immediately swiveled our heads towards the sound. Sam was grinning at us from behind another tree.

“Go for it! All you need is, like, 3-4 thrusts, you can handle **that** I bet.”

I was ready to clap back with _Oh, and how would **you** know, Samuel?_ but then I remembered that Danny had no idea his bestie had been spying on us.

“Hush, you perv!” I said instead. “Can y’all just let a woman pee? Goddamn!”

Danny blinked, looking contrite, but I kissed him again and he set me down gently. He shooed Sam away and I did my business, my bare ass tingling in the growing chill.

We didn’t dawdle on the way back and when we entered the campground there was some kind of farmer’s market going on in front of the general store, so Micah and I bought some veggies to grill that night in addition to the Hobo Stew I was going to make.

“This is probably the healthiest campout we’ve ever been on!” Josh declared with his sunshine-y grin.

Sam had stolen one of the carrots, it was dangling from the side of his mouth like a cigar.

“Are we failing then?” I asked. “I mean, besides drunken shenanigans.”

“Yeah those don’t count, that’s pretty much an everyday thing,” Josh replied and we cracked up.

That wasn’t exactly true. My boys enjoyed their alcohol for sure, but we all tended to save our drinking for the weekends, and Danny really wasn’t one for drinking unless it was with someone else. I had a feeling that, like any number of things, Sam had sort of goaded him into it originally.

But whatever chaos we were expecting was thwarted to find everyone gathered around Jake playing and singing. I knew that sometimes guys might be jealous of other guys who got all the attention like that, but I figured one reason Mark had been a long-time friend was because he just let Jakey be Jakey, and that was entertaining _all_ of the time. The minute he saw us his eyes lit up.

“Joshie, let’s sing some Beatles!”

So dinner prep had a soundtrack of various classics and we sang along too, but not loud enough to drown out the _true_ singers in our midst.

Sunset was _amazing_, and we stood on the edge of the gorge and sang in honor of the event. For anyone else it would have seemed corny, but what better way to honor it, you know? This beautiful moment in time. I thought I was gonna cry. I asked Josh to sing “I Guess He’d Rather Be In Colorado” and then I **did** cry. He could perfectly hit the gently sad mood I’ve always loved about that song, and then from there they went into “Sunshine On My Shoulders” which we all usually sing but I just kept sniffling and wiping away tears and Danny looked at me, mouthing _Are you okay?_ and I nodded.

You know how some moments are just too much? But in a good way.

_If I had a day that I could give you_  
_I’d give to you a day just like today._

The light was pure gold all around us and in my head I was stringing together fanciful phrases.

_Go down now, godhead_  
_go down now, eye upon us all_  
_we sing you to sleep, we sing you to sleep._  
_Spread your light on us like honey._  
_One last glorious moment before you slip down_  
_and your absence stains the sky._  
_The world rendered dark blue_  
_sunk in longing for you._  
_The moon, she puts on a robe she borrowed from you_  
_and tries to distract us with broadcasts of pale luster._  
_We’re all dazed, her and us_  
_orbiting, clinging to each other till you are reborn._

I held out my arms like I thought I could fly and closed my eyes, losing myself in their magic. What a gift. What a goddamn _miracle_.

Because I had brought ten bags of marshmallows (What? We’re camping!) Josh and I had fun setting them on fire while everyone else drank and smoked and was generally ridiculous. One of the Heathers scolded me about eating burned things because it’s bad for you, I guess? I shrugged at her with half a smile - I didn’t want to fight with either of those girls because they were always around, waiting for Jake to make up his mind. I was kind of surprised that they were willing to co-exist, but also I think Jake kept getting them confused? So to cover their bets they _both_ had to be there.

“Hey, did you write that paper for Haverland yet?” Jordayn asked me.

“Uh...nope! And I’m not gonna till Sunday night.”

“Like to live dangerously, huh?” she teased, raising her Solo cup of whatever it was.

“You know it!” I replied, holding my flaming lump of sugar aloft.

“Babe, don’t set your hair on fire, okay?” Danny said, with typical protectiveness.

“Wagner, you know you are drunker than me.”

“Yeah but I’m not holding anything flammable.” He just barely managed the last word.

I got up to pee and pulled Sam out of his chair. “Walk with me, Sam-a-lama.”

“Do I gotta? I don’t know how well that’s gonna go.”

We made it to the edge of our campsite and I stopped his shambling with a hand to his chest.

“Do we wanna stop Danny **now**, or let him get trashed?”

Sam scrunched up his face for a few seconds and then said “Ooooohhhhh.”

“Nothin’ gets by you, kid.” I snarked.

“Shaddup! But uh, I dunno, I mean, how loaded are **you**?”

“I had one hard cider with dinner and half a cup of cocoa with Kahlua in it. And a shit-ton of sugar, so I guess I’m kinda -” I did that see-saw motion with my hand.

“Yeah I’ve only had two beers, so I’m pretty straight.”

“I think you mean _sober_, boyo.”

“Whatever. But uh, I guess that means **we** can play, right? If you wanna.”

_Oh did I_...I had watched Sam during our salute to the sunset, and in that golden light he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I _knew_ him, knew what a brat he really was and yet, his beauty was truly stunning. At least I wanted to do what I had planned, which was to drive him crazy with my fluffy brush collection. I had gotten Danny trained to the point where all I had to do was get out my insanely expensive and insanely soft face brush, wave it in his direction, and the boy couldn’t get naked fast enough.

“Uh yeah, I think we _should_, don’t you?”

Sam grinned, and I think he knew it would melt me. “Gonna call me a perv again?”

“Probably. But you already knew that, Super Genius.”

“Oh I would _insist_,” he said. “Now are you gonna go pee or what?”

Wow, he knew me way better than I thought he did.


	12. A tale of two cocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everybody learns something new.

We debated - only it was more like arguing quietly - about how to get our man to come to bed with us and how drunk _was_ he, actually? But it seemed like Danny either caught the vibe of what we were planning, or he was ready to crash because when we got back and stood there before him, he got up from his seat without being prompted.

“Ooookay drunkie boy,” I said to him, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Nighty-night.”

“You’re such a fuckin’ _mom_,” Mark chided me, and I flipped him off. Not, like, maliciously, but just to let him know I don’t take no shit, even from long-time friends. I know there’s a social hierarchy at work and I’ve always tried to respect it, but...there’s a limit to shit-talking.

Everyone else either ignored our departure or waved us off and returned to whatever they were doing. Josh and Micah, for example, were playing backgammon by lantern-light.

If **I’m** a mom, they are gigantic _nerds_.

In the tent we stripped down to underwear and then I looked at Sam, like, _c’mon now, unleash the Beast_, and he gave me this open-mouthed incredulous stare in response.

“I don’t wanna be the only one naked!”

“But it’s _your turn_ to get played with!”

“It just feels _weird_ if we’re not all naked.”

Meanwhile, Danny was pulling off all his clothes and collapsing onto the mattress.

“I am going to be _so cold_,” I whined.

“Should we, like, fuck first then?”

It was my turn to be gaping like a fish. _Damn, just throw it out there why don’t you, Slippery Sam!_ And I was, what, getting _shy_? **Who am I** right now?! So I donned my metaphorical armor over my bra and panties.

“Samuel, we can’t, like, just fuck out of _nowhere_. We’re trying to have a _relationship_.” I said that last part like each word was its’ own sentence.

“But there’s context!” he countered. “This whole thing,” he gestured at all of us, including Danny starting to nod off, “is nothing **but** context!”

I took him by the shoulders. _Be confident._ I knew I looked cute, I made sure to pack a sexy set: lacy, plunge-y, the thong riding a little higher in the back.

“Sammy, be a good boy and let me brush you.” I didn’t do the Jessica Rabbit voice or anything, just low and _I can seduce you if you let me._ His eyes, I could feel the weight of his stare, everywhere. And I wasn’t cold anymore. “Lay down, it feels really good. And if you think you’re gonna bust, _then_ I will get naked, okay?”

Sam looked kinda stunned, kinda stoned - I knew the pheromones were kicking in because I was wet, for sure. He nodded and thumped onto the mattress, moving back until he was all the way on it. I reached into the tent pocket behind it and pulled out my brush bag. It was really fancy: black velvet with a tassel zipper-pull.

“This is totally an ASMR thing, isn’t it?” he snarked.

“_Hush_, Samuel.”

He wasn’t wrong, though, but he loved to tease me about my habit of watching ASMR videos before bedtime. But that _is_ where I got the idea to use makeup brushes as sex toys. The sales staff at my local Ulta probably thought I was a full-on freak for trying out all the big brushes by sweeping them along the inside of my arm. But they had to be _soft_, you know, in order to achieve the goal.

Sam was all beautiful bones, long lean sinew, his nipples hard as diamonds, and he shivered each time I ran a fluffy brush against his amazingly soft skin.

_This boy, swear to god, it’s so unfair!_

His face, so beautiful, as I watched the ecstasy bloom on his features slowly. His cock, so pretty and perfectly-formed, in total proportion to his body. He and Danny were about the same length but Sam was not quite as thick. I had a passing thought that Sam has the kind of cock which people always think of when they picture one - like it’s almost too perfect-looking to be real. I took my thickest Kabuki brush and ran it slower than slow along the full length, letting the bristles surround it and he groaned, his body jerking taunt.

“Oh you know you like it,” I teased. I moved it in circles on his sac, producing another deep groan.

“Sammy, not so loud!” Danny cautioned. I hadn’t even realized he was still awake, but he was propped up on his side, watching with avid eyes.

“It’s _her_ fault!” Sam shot back, but he wasn’t mad about it.

“My kingdom for a ball gag,” I intoned wryly, and he laughed in spite of himself.

“Yeah you just keep thinkin’ you can shut me up,” he said between gasps. “Ain’t gonna happen.”

“Oh I know it’s just a fantasy,” I whispered, using that same tone as before. “Shove my panties in your mouth and fuck you hard. But even then you’re _so noisy_.”

“Oh fuck, now you’ve **got** to -”

“ - what?”

“Fuck me, _please_.”

“Feeling a little desperate, huh kid?”

“I asked you nicely. And you _promised_.”

“Don’t torture him, babe,” Danny said, sounding more sleepy than before. “Look how hard he is for you.”

_Always thinking of his boy, see how he is the best bestie there is?_

I put a hand on his cock and squeezed. Boy was _rigid_.

“Damn Sam, you could drill for oil with that thing!”

“Only drilling I wanna do right now is you, girl.”

I stood up and gestured to Danny. “Help me take this off, gorgeous.”

Danny got behind me and slowly slid my panties off, his hands going all the way down from my hips to my ankles. I stepped out of them as he stood up and unhooked my bra, taking my breasts in his hands, cupping them like I was still wearing it. Goddamn, I love those hands on my tits, so massive.

“You ready for all this lusciousness, Sammy?” Danny asked.

**“Fuck yes.”**

I snapped my fingers and commanded. “Go fetch.”

Danny got down on the mattress and reached into the tent pocket again, pulling out a condom and rolling it onto Sam’s cock.

“See,” I said, kneeling down and sliding onto Sam, “Danny is a Good Boy. And good boys get fucked as much as they wanna be. So you think about _that_, okay?”

“Doesn't she have the nicest pussy?” Danny asked him.

Sam could only groan, quietly, over and over as I rode him. I was into comparing the experiences, not to say one was better than the other, but so _different_. Danny filled me up so thoroughly that what I mainly got off on was that feeling of being stretched. Sam was so erect, all of my sensitive spots inside were just throbbing to rub up against that hardness, it was _crazy_ good. I put my hands on his shoulders and just went for it, while Danny whispered encouragement and praise.

“Damn, I never realized how good your ass looks when you’re pumping like that,” he said to me, and I giggled.

“We need,“ I huffed between thrusts, “a mirror on the ceiling.”

“No doubt!” Danny replied with a wicked laugh.

Sam whined my name between his teeth. “Can’t hold on -”

I sped up - ‘cause I’m a control freak like that - and rode the orgasm right out of him, Danny putting his hand over Sam’s mouth. Not too hard, just enough to muffle the scream. I was already twitching with at least three of my own, and totally sweaty. I slid off of him carefully, and removed the condom with a tissue.

“And **that** is how a Good Boy gets fucked,” I proclaimed. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“Huh?” Danny asked.

“Tell him, Sammy,” I said.

Sam was still panting as he rolled over to face Danny.

“I’ve watched you guys fuck. Like, many times.”

“Yeah? But why?”

“Daniel, are you seriously telling me **now** that you don’t get it?” I laughed. “This boy was imagining it was _him_!”

“With who?”

“With you!” we both exclaimed.

Danny looked into Sam’s eyes and his expression...it was so adoring. I’d been on the other end of it too, but to see it from the outside - my god, how could _anyone_ resist him?

“So you don’t really want her?”

Sam laughed softly. “Sure I do, but I **am** in love with you. There, I said it.”

“You said it last night too,” I reminded him.

“Yeah okay, but I really really do.”

Danny put his nose against Sam’s. “I really really love you too.”

I wanted to watch them kiss again, but I had to pee. I pulled on various pieces of clothing and went outside where the chill woke me the hell up again. _Brisk!_ as they say. Over at the campfire they were singing some Bob Dylan song and I could smell cigar smoke mingling with the burning wood. I silently thanked Jake for waiting to pull those out until we’d gone to bed. No one had paid us the least attention and that was fine by me, listening to all the sounds of the night and watching my breath cloud in the cold air.

“Dang, how long does it take you to pee?” I heard a certain bass player call out.

I rolled my eyes. “Shaddup, perv!” I yelled back.

Because even well-fucked, Sam just has to be Sam.


	13. living the dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family matters of all kinds.

Making that long-ass drive back to the city, the Throuple was _beat_, you know? We’d had just a little too much fun, I think, and having to write a paper the very next day was going to be painful. But it had been _the best_ time for sure, and I could tell we all felt the same way.

Perhaps the greatest thing I have ever witnessed in all my years on this earth was Danny trying to teach Sam how to give me the best orgasm, while Sam insisted that he knew how to make a girl come, thank you very much.

“Well let him demonstrate anyway, okay? It’s not anything you haven’t seen before.”

Sam gave me a _We’re **still** talking about this?_ look. “I just want it on the record that I am not without experience.”

“Duly noted.”

“I mean, are _you_ going to teach him to suck cock?” Sam asked with a smirk.

“If he wants me to I will. But I figured you would just tell him what you want.”

“Well then why can’t you do that for **me**?”

Danny looked hurt. “I’m not trying to say you don’t know what to do, it’s just that I wanted to help. It would, like, benefit both of you.”

“Samuel, don’t get all prick-y, mmmkay?”

“Don’t you mean prickly?”

“No, I mean prick-y - as in: don’t be a **dick**!”

We all cracked up, so the tension was dispelled. Danny knew exactly how to respond to Sam, they’d been friends for so many years and their personalities were balanced. But I had to learn how to read that constant snarkiness and understand which things were just Sam being Sam, and which things were meant to sting.

Sam drove most of the way home, and I fell asleep listening to the two of them sing along to a Motown playlist Sam had dialed up and make corny jokes. I felt completely safe, and completely loved.

I put a sign on the bedroom door the next day: DO NOT DISTURB UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET HURT. And I fully expected Sam to then knock and tell me he was in fact looking for some pain, but since he and Danny were holed up in _his_ room while Danny did all the reading for his History of Western Music class maybe he might have decided to behave and read a physics book or something. Meanwhile, I was slowly but surely chiseling out the paper on _Purple Hibiscus_ for my Readings in African Literature class and I **loved** the novel, but writing about all the shit Kambili had to go through - it made me sad, but it also reminded me to be grateful.

It made me want to call my mom, so I did.

“Hey kiddo, how was camping?”

“It was fun...in a way I totally do not want to discuss with you.”

She laughed. “Fair enough.”

“I just, uh, wanted to say thank you for making sure I had a mostly stable adolescence.”

“Uh...okay? I mean, that was my job. But do you get now why I didn’t want you around your dad so much?”

“Yeah. I mean, I still wasn’t going to totally listen, but I get it now. I know you’ve done a lot for me, and I appreciate it.”

“Wow, what brought this on? I mean, thank you but -”

“I know, I know. I was assigned this novel about a girl who has to go through a pretty rough time. In Africa.”

“Oh. Well yeah - you remember Zizi, don’t you?”

“Yeah, she taught that art therapy class with you, or whatever?”

“Yeah. She’s from Ghana. She didn’t have it easy herself before she came over here.”

“Well I’m glad she can be here now, and you can be friends with her.”

“She’s a love, she is. Hey, so are you coming home for T-day?”

“I don’t know yet. I kinda don’t just wanna _ask_, you know? Like it’s Prom, but not.”

“**Never** assume, girlie, believe you me. I know he’s a sweet kid and all but -”

“Okay yeah, I get it. I gotta finish my paper but...I love you.”

“Love you too, my girl.”

I think sometimes I understand why it’s so hard to talk to older people. They know stuff we don’t want to know. We think maybe we don’t need to know it, not yet. Or we just have to learn no matter what - but which hurts worse, I wonder?

I hit a wall after dinner (Sam made one of his “surprise stews” which are always good but I never want to know what’s actually in them before I eat some) where my brain just did not want to take words and form them into sentences, and I still had at least another 2-½ pages to go. I re-read part of the book for a couple hours, and that didn’t help, and then before I knew it my phone showed 12:48 am.

**Damnit!** I wanted to finish this and get at least some sleep before I had to turn it in at 10. Haverland always insists on both paper and electronic submissions, so I had to go to campus anyway, even though I was planning to ditch my Western Civ lecture.

I came out and quietly opened the door to Sam’s room. Danny was sacked out, lying on his side away from Sam, his textbook sort of half on-half off the bed. I carefully pulled it out from under his arm and put it on the floor. Sam had his headphones on and was watching something on his laptop with a frown of concentration. He gave me a _What?_ glance, but not annoyed. I motioned that I wanted to talk to him and he pushed them off his ears.

“Come take a walk with me,” I whispered.

“Now?”

“My brain is - _ugh_ \- I think I need some fresh air.”

“You’re tired is what it is. Just go to bed.”

“I **have** to get this done first.”

Sam closed his laptop and got up from the bed carefully, but Danny didn’t stir. He’s a pretty sound sleeper. I love looking at his sleeping face, it’s so sweet and perfect.

After donning shoes and jackets and hats and gloves, we set off along the semi-rural street the house is situated on. The moon gave us some light to wander by, but all the houses we passed by were dark. It was so quiet, just the occasional owl hoot and crickets could be heard.

“Hey, so did you listen to the voicemail on the landline?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He sighed and a big cloud of steam emerged from his lips.

“So...what happened?”

“You listened to it?!” Sam had stopped walking and was giving me an incredulous look.

“Uh, **no** but, I could tell even by her _hello Sam_ that she was **pissed**.”

“It’s just...everything, like, _happened_ with us and I totally got all distracted. I wasn’t _trying_ to ghost her or anything.”

“Do you _like_ Jocelyn, though?”

“Yeah, she’s cool. I feel like I could have an actual conversation with her and stuff.”

“Well, like, if you want to date her or whatever I’d be okay with that. I mean, if you really like her.”

He looked surprised, his eyes going wide. “You would?”

“Yeah.”

“But see, now, like, romantically? Danny is -”

“All you want.”

“Yeah.”

“So what are you going to tell her?”

“That I didn’t mean to flake, or whatever, but I’m not available.”

“Yikes dude, any way you slice it that’s gonna look **bad**.”

“I know!” Sam threw his hands up in defeat as we started walking again. “But what else can I do?”

I sighed, letting out a cloud of my own. I watched it drift outwards in front of us. My feet were starting to go numb.

“Let’s turn back,” I said and linked my arm in his, swinging us around. He laughed.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” he suddenly demanded.

“What?”

“That night, when I asked her out. You already knew how I felt, basically. So why didn’t you stop me?”

“Well dang, dude, my mind just wasn’t in that place, is all. I mean, I feel bad, of course I do, but just deal with it. We’re here to support you. Sometimes, though, unpleasant things just happen. My old boyfriend broke up with me at the start of Senior year, that was _the worst_. My social life, such as it was, just, like, evaporated and everybody was all, ‘Oh poor girl’ but also thinking 'I'm glad it's not me!'"

“Why?”

“He caught feelings for some other girl over the summer. I mean, I didn’t know her because she went to another school, but they met ‘cause they both worked at the local pizza place. I was at my dad’s so he was all, ‘Well it’s _your_ fault for not being around!’”

“Yeesh, what a dick!”

“Yeah but, well, it was all for the best, you know? And this is too.”

Sam shrugged, then leaned against me.

“I wanna ask you something but you have to promise - swear to God, Sammy - that you won’t say _anything_ to anybody else.”

“What?”

“No you don’t get to ask first. If you can’t handle it then okay.”

“But why me?”

“Well you’re my _boyfriend_ too now, right? It’s a boyfriend kind of thing.”

Sam halted, again and his look was sort of incredulous, but also snarky. That infamous Sammy Smirk made an appearance.

“Am I, though?”

I smacked him. Not hard, but, just a sort of _I can’t believe you’re even saying this_ kind of smack.

“Yes Sam!” I shot back.

“Okay okay! I promise.”

“Don’t make me regret trusting you!”

“Well you’re either gonna or you’re not! Can you see why I’m a little skeptical with _this_ kind of attitude?”

I sighed again. “It’s not like you have the best of track records.”

“Well we’ve got to start _somewhere_, don’t we? So here we are.”

In the distance, a dog howled. Or maybe a coyote. Yeah this was dumb, picking a fight in the middle of the night with a guy I did have deep feelings for. I tried to think about it from the outside - _he’s totally boyfriend material: beautiful, crazy talented and smart, funny, and, uh, **attractive** in every way_.

And we both wanted the same thing: to make Danny happy.

I took a deep breath, letting the cold clear my head. “Okay, so...do you think Danny is going to ask me to Thanksgiving?”

Sam looked confused. “You mean he hasn’t?”

“No.” I almost started crying to say it, the word came out small and strained.

“Oh well he probably just spaced on it. But yeah he totally will! Think of it like this: if you didn’t impress Dan and Lori when you met them, you’d know it by now. Plus his grandpa loves you!”

I thought back to that meeting - it was before I moved in with the guys but Danny and I been dating for about a month. His parents came to the city one Saturday and took us out to lunch. I went for Normal American Girl: band shirt and jeans (but not hole-y or ratty), flowered overshirt, Birks with socks and I pulled my hair back in a half-tail. A little makeup, the semi-natural look I normally went for. It was all fine, they told funny stories about the early days of the band, and his dad talked about how awkward it could be sometimes when your kids attended the same school where you taught. I told them about how my mom taught art classes at the local co-op and the extension school for one of the universities. And then laughingly admitted I couldn’t draw my way out of a paper bag even though she had tried to teach me so many times over the years. Danny beamed at me like I was the greatest thing ever, and so I figured if they thought I was okay they were also thinking: _those two are totally doing it_.

Which was wholly correct, so I couldn’t be mad. And come to think of it, Danny **had** asked me to move in within the week.

“But you know what? If he doesn’t for some reason, then you can come with us. My mom is totally okay with tons of people at Thanksgiving.”

Tears did come to my eyes and Sam made a yelp of surprise when I kissed him in response. It was a sweet kiss, nothing too tongue-y or whatever.

“It’s just that _I love him so much_, Sammy,” I said, nearly choking on the words, and I knew he would understand.

He hugged me to him, resting his chin on my head.

“Yeah, me too,” he whispered.

Josh _really_ wanted to enter the annual talent show for our college. I told him that he should sing a duet with Aerin and they would totally **kill it** in the vocal music category. But he wanted the band to back him and Jake was not into that at all, referring to it as “corny-ass shit.” Sam didn’t care either way, but Danny was supportive as always and trying to talk Jake into it because he’s just that kind of brother-from-another-mother.

“Why do you even want to do this?” Jake kept demanding.

“Because I want to show those assholes in the Theatre department that I **can** sing.”

“How would they not know that?” I asked.

Danny looked embarrassed. “When he tried out for _Jesus Christ Superstar_ last year and I accompanied him, they said his voice was too wild for a Broadway-type show.”

“Oooh, were you trying out for Judas?” I asked.

“He’s got the best part in the whole thing!” Jake replied.

“Not to mention that it’s _supposed_ to be a rock n’roll musical!” Josh protested.

“Okay but, like, when you win that doesn’t mean they’re gonna change their minds. You’re a theatre kid - you know how theatre people are, and by that I mean -”

“Totally insular,” Sam cut in.

“**Exactly**,” I concluded.

“See that’s the whole fucking thing,” Josh continued. “I’m in the Film department, so because I’m not even in Theatre, they’re shunning me. Why can’t I do both if I want to?”

“Seems reasonable to me,” Danny said.

“Why do you even fuckin' care?!” Jake cried. “Those people don’t mean shit to me, or to you, or to _us_!”

“It’s the principle of the thing. You **never** understand that, Jakey. You just say ‘fuck you’ and walk away but there are going to be situations in the future where we can’t do that.”

Jake’s face was telling us that he didn’t care about understanding. Josh sighed and made a dismissive gesture.

“Whatever, man.”

Jake stood there, perhaps expecting more yelling or something. A look passed between the Throuple, and like we had planned it we all said, “C’mon Jakey!”

He blinked in shock, then gave an exasperated sigh of his own. “I’ll _think_ about it.”

“The deadline to sign up for auditions is next week, so start cogitatin,’” I teased. He gave me a _you’re not funny_ look and retreated to his room.

“What’s wrong with him?” I asked. The vibe was weird and Josh and I decided to make spaghetti, which of course one of my men is always totally in favor of. Josh and I are alike in that cooking calms us down, to focus on such a specific task.

“It’s the whole school thing. Jakey hated school _so much_, but he was willing to support me wanting to go to college. Just like I supported him by being in the band. But he feels insecure about it, I guess.”

“Anyone who plays as well as he does shouldn’t have to feel insecure about _anything_,” I responded. “Boy is a guitar **god**, straight up.”

“And most of the time, he totally knows it,” Sam pointed out. “But I keep telling him, it’s way more fun here than if he’d done what he was thinking of.”

“Which was?”

“He wanted to move to Detroit and start another band while waiting for Josh to decide if college was what he wanted,” Danny replied. “And our moms were, like, ‘You’re not taking our babies with you!'”

“It took us, like, our entire Senior year to change his mind,” Sam explained.

“Meanwhile, he was practically living in our dorm room with Micah and me.”

“Until Mikey pretty much insisted that if Jake didn’t wanna live at home then he had to move in with him,” Sam concluded.

“Wow, I missed out on a whole _saga_ it sounds like.”

“And Jacob says **I’m** the drama queen,” Josh intoned dryly, combining crushed tomatoes and tomato sauce into a stock pot while I fried up a package of hamburger.

“Oh he’s not wrong,” Sam and I both said, and everyone just fell out.

The date for Fall Fest was getting closer and there was still no official response to Mike’s campaign to get Greta on the bill, so the Talent Show was something to take their minds off it besides all the typical gigs they had to play. They’d had three or four requests for Halloween shows so they could take their pick. They were leaning towards one in their hometown because it was at the venue they loved, a historic building that used to be a church, I think? They had all kinds of events there, and it was right next door to one of the favorite restaurants in town. I was already planning with Josh what they all would dress up as when it finally came to me.

“Hey, so - how about ‘Feelin’ Alright?’”

“For what, the talent show? I’ve never learned it, totally. I can’t exactly sing like Joe Cocker.”

“No, but you **can** sing like Sweets!” I proclaimed, running for the stairs and up to our room.

“What?!” Josh called after me, laughingly confused.

I returned with one of my cherished albums - the guys knew they liked me when they saw my record collection, comprised mostly of vintage vinyl I had annexed from my parents’ collections - and handed it to him. Josh smiled to see what it was then flipped it over to read the track listing on the back cover.

“Wait, what?” He was confused because the back cover had artwork but no info.

I took it back and slid the record out very carefully, the label for Side One showing. He read it and smiled.

“Oh! But is it, like, total R&B?”

“It’s pretty similar to Joe’s version, but Sweets is more in your range, vocal-wise. So picture this: Sammy playing that samba thing on the piano, Danny on drums and vibraphone, Jakey coming in on the choruses, and me and Aerin as your backup singer/dancers.”

“Doll, you know I love you, but your singing -”

“- is not that great, I know. I’ll just mime. But I **can** dance, and I can come up with, like, a retro thing for us. I think Aerin would be into it, don’t you? And that’s _three_ students, so they should approve it if we pass the audition.”

Josh pursed his lips, pondering. “It **is** a cool idea.”

“And theatrical! Kinda.”

He smiled, that beautiful sunshine-y smile I loved to see. “Let’s see if we can talk the Guitar God into it, huh?”

“We’ll _beg_ if we have to.”

He rolled his eyes teasingly. “Well, he’s used to that from girls at least. So can I borrow this?”

I bit my lip. I trusted this boy with my life, but my _records_? The thing is, he was holding a copy of the totally out-of-print incredibly rare 1970 release of _Portrait_ by The 5th Dimension. I fucking **love** them so much, and it’s my mom’s fault for blasting “Age of Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In” all the damn time when I was a kid. I had dubbed all their classic albums to cassette but when I left for college I had to take the actual records too, they were a part of me.

“Okay but, seriously -”

“Be careful, I know. Or you’ll get Danny to hold me upside down.”

I snickered. “Dude, with him it’s **always** bros before _anyone_ else.”

“And thank god for that,” he replied, “because he’s the only muscle we have!”

Three days later Greta played a gig at a place called the American Tavern, which was a popular spot for them: close to campus and it had a decent-sized stage. Any place that could fit the amps, the drums, _and_ the PA was forever after designated as special. It was a typical Friday show, we loaded in and Mike went to negotiate what we would need while they set up and I waited for a table so I could unload the merch from the numerous boxes Danny and I had carried. The place started to fill up after a few hours and by the first set it was pretty packed. It went well, it was a crowd filled with friends, fans, and Jake’s various admirers. People kept sending me drinks for some reason, which was nice but no one was getting any free merch on my watch. It was getting near set close when Josh got on the mic.

“So we’re gonna bring it down a bit before we take our break, but we’ll be back to rock ya some more in twenty, okay?”

A cheer rose up.

“This is a song, we just learned it this week, but it’s a song we’ve loved since we were kids, and it’s an important song. It’s a song about hoping when there’s nothing left to hope for. And we’re pretty sure you know it too - cheers!”

Jake was on acoustic, Sam on the Clavinet, Danny introducing the song with a soft cymbal wash against Jake’s opening chords. Josh let the silence hold for a few moments, then sang -

_I was born by the river_  
_in a little tent._  
_And just like that river, baby_  
_I been runnin’ ever since._

\- and nobody heard me, I know, but I let out a cry of surprised joy. We all loved Sam Cooke but this, **this** was the result of Josh listening to The 5th Dimension’s version of “A Change Is Gonna Come,” and appropriating the soulful grit of Ronald “Sweets” Townson on lead vocals. In the bridge, Jake and Danny joined him in the most beautiful harmony - I was _crying_, totally enthralled. Someone came over to my table, money in hand, saw me sobbing and turned right around again.

Fuck it. My band, y’all, they are _amazing_. And the applause when they finished was _deafening_.


End file.
